Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The parents of your Australian friend Chris have invited you to a surprise birthday party for him/her. Write a letter to Chris's parents. In your letter:
- say why you think Chris will enjoy the surprise party
- explain why you won't be able to attend the party
- give details of a plan to see Chris at a different time
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear Mr and Mrs Collins,
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Dear Mam/Sir
I heared somebody that there are surprise birtday party to my friend Chris.To make Chris happy for her birtday,I'd like to give some gift that they never forget for hir whole life.One of my brother bring virgin girl for her so they can experience how to fuck virgin girl. I know Chris have no experience about this kind of gift.
I'd like to attend to Chris birthday,but I have important meeting to my client on that day so I can promise that I can attend.I know Chris understand me about this because ,last time during our phone conversation I already tell him about this.
After done her birthday,I plan to make schedule to meet him in our favorite meeting place this is located at the city center they know it already.
Hoping that Chris will make happy on your surprise birthday party yhat given to him.
In addition I would like to thanks to you for your invatation to me.
Respectfully ,Duterte
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You attempt to cover all three requested points: you say Chris may enjoy a surprise, give a reason you cannot attend, and suggest meeting later at a familiar place. However, the response only minimally fulfils the task because the explanation of why Chris will enjoy the party is unclear and includes an inappropriate, sexually explicit suggestion about a “virgin girl,” which is unsuitable for a letter to Chris’s parents. The reason for your absence is also weakened by the contradiction between “I can promise that I can attend” and the earlier statement that you cannot attend. The later-meeting plan lacks a specific time or date. Keep the ideas relevant, polite, and clear, and develop each requested point directly.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a basic sequence: it discusses the party, explains the absence, proposes a later meeting, and closes with thanks. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these points, and phrases such as “After done her birthday” signal a move to the next idea. However, progression is uneven, and some connections are confusing. For example, “I can promise that I can attend” conflicts with the preceding explanation, while “they know it already” has an unclear reference. The closing sentence about hoping Chris will be happy repeats the party idea without adding much. Use clearer links between ideas and ensure each paragraph develops one point consistently; a conventional greeting and closing would also make the letter easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with a few task-related expressions such as “surprise birthday party,” “important meeting,” and “favorite meeting place.” However, frequent spelling and word-choice problems strain the reader, including “heared,” “birtday,” “hir,” “invatation,” and “make schedule.” Some phrases are also inappropriate or unnatural for this context, particularly the explicit description of a proposed gift. Choose polite, precise language suited to writing to a friend’s parents, and check spelling and common collocations. For instance, say that Chris would enjoy seeing friends gathered unexpectedly, rather than describing a sexual gift; this would make the message both clearer and more appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response relies mainly on simple sentence patterns, with a few attempts to connect ideas using “because” and “so.” Frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “I heared somebody that there are,” “Chris have no experience,” and “last time … I already tell him.” The sentence “I can promise that I can attend” also contradicts the intended meaning that you cannot attend. Practise forming clear past and present-tense sentences, checking subject–verb agreement, and using articles and prepositions accurately. A more controlled version would be: “I’m sorry, but I have an important meeting with a client that day, so I won’t be able to attend.”
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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