Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this present time, mostly people hire a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing other physical games or doing exercise in a group. I think it has more negative effects rather than positive. I will explain some reasons behind it in the upcoming paragraphs.

Firstly, Nowadays, people became more heath concious and they want to look attractive. There can be so many reason behind hiring a personal trainer rather than playing sports. First of all, people hire a personal trainer in the gym because they do not have enough knowledge about how to use equipments in the gym. They do not want to hurt themselves by doing wrong exercise or lifting weights.

Secondly, some introvert people do not want to go out and do exercise in a grouop because they do not want to talk to anyone or they are uncomfortable with others, that is why they hire a personal fitness trainer.

I think it is a negative development, people hire a personal trainer to stay physically fit however, they do not build any social connections with others. For example, when you join a yoga classes or do exercise in a group you will learn a lot from others. You can make new friends or build a strong social connection with others. Moreover, hiring a personal trainer is too expensive, so people can play sports or join some exercise classes to stay physicall fit rather than paying someone.

In Conclusion, I would like to say that it is good that people are taking care of themselves by doing all the physicall activities. It would be more helpful and cheaper if they play sport or do exercise in groups.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you give reasons for hiring trainers, including limited knowledge of gym equipment and discomfort exercising in groups, and you clearly judge the trend as negative. Your points about avoiding injury and the cost of trainers are relevant, while the example of making friends in group classes supports your view. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, you say people hire trainers because they are more health-conscious and want to look attractive, but do not show how this specifically leads them to choose individual training over other options. The claim that trainer users do not build social connections is also broad. Develop these comparisons with a specific example or explanation to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, paragraphs giving reasons and evaluating the trend, and a conclusion. The progression from reasons to your negative judgement is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In Conclusion” help the reader identify the stages. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and also shows some control of progression. However, the linking can feel mechanical, particularly with repeated sequencing phrases, and the first body paragraph uses “First of all” immediately after “Firstly.” The shift from reasons to your evaluation could be signalled more smoothly. Use links that show the relationship between ideas, such as cause, contrast, or consequence, and make sure each paragraph has a clear central focus.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “personal fitness trainer,” “lifting weights,” “social connections,” and “physically fit.” Some choices also show an attempt to express specific concepts, such as “introvert people” and “uncomfortable with others.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors reduce precision: “heath concious,” “equipments,” “grouop,” and “physicall” are examples. Phrases such as “other physical games” and “do exercise in a group” are understandable but not always natural in this context. Aim for more accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; this will make your ideas sound clearer and more fluent without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple sentences and some longer structures, including clauses with “because” and “that is why,” so you can express reasons and consequences. Most of the message remains understandable. However, there are some recurring errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and verb forms. For example, “I think it is a negative development, people hire a personal trainer” joins two independent clauses with only a comma; separate them or use a suitable conjunction. “There can be so many reason” needs plural agreement, while “when you join a yoga classes” has an article–plural mismatch. “People became more…” also uses a tense that does not fit the general present-day claim. Practise checking these patterns and vary your complex sentences while keeping their structure controlled.

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