Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

NOWADAYS, PEOPLE ARE MORE AWARE ABOUT THE FITNESS. MOST OF AN INDIVIDUALS ARE NOW FOCUSING MORE ON RECRUIT A PERSONAL FITNESS ASSISTANT INSTEAD OF ATTENTIVE MORE ABOUT ACTIVE GAMES OR JOINING COACHING OF EXERCISE.THERE ARE MULTIPLE REASONS BEHIND THIS AND I BELIEVE IT HAS MORE BENEFICIAL ASPECTS THAN DETRIMENTAL. MY INCLINATIONS IS ARGUED IN ENSUING PARAGRAPHS ALONG WITH RELEVANT EXAMPLES.

TO COMMENCE WITH, THE MOST AND FOREMOST ONE REASON IS THAT CITIZENS ARE VERY INDISCIPLINE TO FOLLOW STRICT ROUTINE. TO EXPLAIN THIS, A CERTAIN NUMBER OF INDIVIDUALS ARE DO NOT ABLE TO DOING EXERCISE WILLINGLY AND IF THEY HIRED A TRAINER THEY HAVE NO OPTIONS LEFT BECAUSE OF FEES THEY ALREADY PAID WHICH WILL LEAD TO CONSISTENCY OF EXERCISE. MOREOVER, ANOTHER CAUSE IS GET INFLUENCED FROM POPULAR ONES. TO ELUCIDATE, PUBLIC WANTS TO LIVE A LIFE LIKE THE WAY CELEBRITIES ARE SPENT AND FROM THEM THEY INFLUENCED AND END UP ON RECRUITMENT OF PERSONAL FITNESS ASSISTANT. FOR EXAMPLE, SHAHRUKH KHAN BUILD HIS BODY BY GETTING A HELP WITH GYM TRAINER,HENCE THE COMMON MAN ALSO BOOK AN APPOINTMENT WITH FITNESS TRAINER.

NEVERTHELESS, IT HAS ALSO FAVOURABLE EFFECTS ON MORE RECRUITMENT OF OWN GYM TRAINER SUCH AS IT GIVES AN EMPLOYMENT TO THE PEOPLE. TO ILLUSTRATE, NEED OF A CERTAIN NUMBER OF NATIONS LEADS TO MORE HIRING OF TRAINERS AS A RESULT REDUCES THE POVERTY IN COUNTRY. TO EXEMPLIFY, PEOPLE PUT A VACANCY FOR HIRING THAT TIME WHO ARE NOT ABLE TO ORGANIZE THEIR OWN FITNESS CENTRE THEY WILL TAKE A PART AND BOOST THEIR TALENT. IN ADDITION TO THIS, INDIVIDUALS CONCENTRATE MORE ON HEALTH WHEN HIRING TRAINER. TO EXPLAIN, WHEN THEY DO SELF EXERCISE OR PLAYING A SPORT THEY ARE NOT CONSISTENCE AS A RESULT THEY DO ACTIVITY WHENEVER THEY WANT.

IN CONCLUSION, THE INDISCIPLINERY ACTIONS AND INFLUENCED BY PUBLIC FIGURES LEADS TO NECESSARY HIRING OF THEIR OWN FITNESS TRAINER. AND ACCORDING TO ME THIS IS POSITIVE DEVELOPMENT AS THIS ACTIONS PROVIDING JOBS TO THE NEEDY PEOPLE AND ALSO LEAD TO ATTENTIVE EVELUATIONS OF EVERY PERSON.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the prompt: you give reasons for hiring trainers—difficulty maintaining discipline and celebrity influence—and state that you see this as positive. The employment benefit is relevant, and the Shah Rukh Khan example helps illustrate the influence of public figures. However, some points are not fully explained or are unclear. For instance, the claim that hiring trainers reduces poverty needs a clearer link, and the point that people focus more on health is asserted rather than supported with a specific explanation. Develop each reason with a clear cause-and-effect explanation and make the positive-versus-negative judgement more explicit by briefly acknowledging any drawback, such as cost or reduced social interaction, before explaining why the benefits outweigh it. This would make the response more fully developed across all parts of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining reasons, a paragraph describing benefits, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “To commence with,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, some connections feel mechanical, and the progression within paragraphs is occasionally difficult to follow. For example, the move from hiring trainers to reducing poverty, then to people who cannot organise a fitness centre, is not clearly connected. References such as “this action” and “from them” are also not always precise. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each claim and its example explicit. Clearer topic sentences and more direct links between ideas would strengthen the flow while preserving the effective paragraph structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “strict routine,” “consistency,” “employment,” and “influenced,” and the reader can generally identify your main ideas. There are also attempts to use more formal expressions, such as “To elucidate” and “To illustrate.” However, many word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “recruit a personal fitness assistant,” “influence from popular ones,” and “attentive evaluations.” Repetition of “fitness trainer” and “individuals” also limits flexibility. Focus on common, precise collocations rather than adding formal-sounding phrases: for example, “hire a personal trainer,” “be influenced by celebrities,” and “receive individual guidance.” Improving word forms and spelling, including “influenced” and “evaluation,” would make your meaning clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional and cause-and-effect structures, as in “if they hired a trainer…” and “which will lead to consistency.” This shows an effort to vary sentence forms. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur across the response and sometimes make ideas hard to follow. Examples include “Most of an individuals are,” “are do not able to doing,” and “Shahrukh Khan build his body.” Several sentences also join clauses without clear punctuation, particularly in the examples about celebrity influence and employment. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses with consistent tense and agreement. Careful proofreading for sentence boundaries and verb forms would improve control while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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