Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely seen that people are preferring hiring fitness coaches over doing physical activities . There are multiple reasons surrounding this trend . I strongly believe that altough it helps till certain level but overall it is negative development .

One of the main reasons why I think it is negative development is fitness coaches often focus on promoting their plans rather than actaully helping clients . It is because the main goal of majority of trainers is to earn money through promoting their products and elongating their contract . As a result , they often push people towards using artifical products like fat burners which finally have bad impact on their overall health .

Moving further , fitness coaches gernally give gym coaching which is normally not sustainable for ordinarly people . Instead playing physical outdoor games are not only easy and affordable but it also promotes physical as well as mental health . Apart from this , people quitting gym after several month is pretty common due to high expenses and high body standards set by coaches and peers . To illustrate , joining gym and coaching due to motivation is very easy but sticking to it for longer run is not like walking on bed of roses.

To conclude, Although futness coaches due play important role in fitness industry but for people who are just lookikg for physical fitness it can be expensive and complicated procedure . I see it as a negative development and feel that normal people should focus more on natural activities and balanced diet .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that hiring a trainer is a negative development, and you offer relevant concerns about commercial motives, costly gym routines, and the benefits of outdoor activity. However, the task asks both why people are choosing personal trainers and whether this is positive or negative. Most of the essay explains why you consider the trend harmful; it gives little direct explanation of why people hire trainers in the first place, such as personalised guidance, accountability, or convenience. The claim that trainers promote products is also broad and would be stronger with a specific example or qualification. Develop both sides of the question more evenly and support your main points with clearer reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas generally move from concerns about trainers’ motives to the cost and sustainability of gym-based exercise, and linking phrases such as “As a result” and “To illustrate” help show relationships. However, the progression is sometimes mechanical, with “Moving further” and “Apart from this” introducing points without clearly explaining how they connect. The second body paragraph also combines affordability, mental health, motivation, and body standards, so its central point becomes less focused. Use clearer topic sentences and develop one main idea at a time, with references that make it clear what “it” or “this” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “fitness coaches,” “fat burners,” “physical activities,” and “balanced diet,” and you attempt more specific expressions such as “sustainable” and “body standards.” This gives you enough range to discuss the topic, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, which sometimes makes the meaning less precise. For example, “promoting their plans” and “elongating their contract” do not express the intended ideas naturally, while “walking on bed of roses” is an unsuitable form of the idiom. Spelling errors such as “artifical” and “gernally” also detract from clarity. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause (“It is because…”) and a result clause (“As a result…”). The overall meaning is usually understandable, but errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur across the response. For example, “people are preferring hiring” has an awkward verb pattern, and “Although futness coaches due play…” does not form a complete, accurate clause. In “it also promotes physical as well as mental health,” the pronoun does not agree clearly with the plural subject “outdoor games.” Spaces before punctuation and inconsistent capitalisation also affect accuracy. Practise reliable sentence patterns and proofread each sentence for a clear subject, verb, and correct agreement.

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