Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays,in some countries more individuals hires private fitness trainer instead of playing outdoor games and doing exercises.it may be the reason of lack of time or their personal space.

in my perspective,there are cons over weigh the pros.

Firstly,if people hired personal fitness trainer then how they interact with others. however any person who play outdoor games will get touch in many other peoples and they can learn many new techniques of games as well as they learn discipline.they will become punctual.for example, a person who attend the outdoor games as well as exercise classes, he need to be on time in order to do participate in any game as he late then he can be eliminate from the game.

moreover, many people are introvert and they like private trainers.for instance one of my neighbour like to do excercise at home as he have his own personal trainer. he feel shy when he participated in any gym or outdoor activities.every Time he prefer doing exercises in his personal space with his trainer.

Many exercise classes ties up with charitable trusts. as people hir there own trainers then these type of trusts may shutdown.

in conclusion, if people join public gyms and outdoor games then they learn discipline and punctuality as well as they help many needy people by join these type of classes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, and you include relevant points about social interaction, discipline, privacy, and charitable organisations. However, the task is only partially addressed: the reasons people hire trainers are mentioned briefly in the opening and in the example about shyness, but are not explained in a developed way. The argument about charities closing is also asserted without showing how common or significant this effect might be. Your example about your neighbour helps illustrate privacy, but the other points need fuller explanation and support. The response is 27 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop both the reasons and your evaluation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic structure, with an opening position, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “moreover,” and “in conclusion” help signal the stages of your argument. However, progression is uneven: the paragraph beginning “Firstly” moves from social interaction to discipline and punctuality, while the next paragraph introduces introversion and privacy without clearly connecting this reason to the overall evaluation. Some links are awkward or unclear, particularly “however” after the question about interaction. Paragraphing is present, but ideas within paragraphs would be easier to follow if each paragraph focused on one main point and explained its connection to the question. Use referencing and transitions more precisely rather than relying mainly on a few repeated markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “personal fitness trainer,” “outdoor games,” “discipline,” “introvert,” and “charitable trusts.” There are also attempts to express more specific concepts, such as “personal space.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less natural—for example, “get touch in many other peoples,” “cons over weigh the pros,” and “ties up with charitable trusts.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “hir” and “excercise” are noticeable. Aim to learn common collocations for exercise and social interaction, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain the reasons and consequences clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “if people join public gyms” and a reason clause beginning “as he have his own personal trainer.” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, tense, articles, and sentence boundaries can make the reader work to understand your meaning. Examples include “more individuals hires,” “he feel shy,” and “a person who attend”; these subjects require matching verb forms. The opening also runs several sentences together with inconsistent capitalisation and punctuation. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns first, then combine ideas using clauses such as “because” and “although.” Proofreading for full stops and commas would also improve clarity.

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