Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, people are becoming more and more health conscious. We see that globally people are spending more money on gyms, yoga and eating healthy food, rather than on leisure and luxury goods. In my opinion this is a very positive change.

With more people opting for gyms, we also see a decline in people playing sports or taking classes for exercise. This shift could be attributed to the fact that you don't necessarily need a gym budy to go gyming but to play a sport you need at least one partner. My husband who is a state level badminton player now seldom plays the sport, because it is difficult to find a partner who is at the same level and is also available to play.

Even though it is important to strength train at the gym, but without adequate knowledge of the exercises and without guidance from a trainer, improper posture could lead to serious injuries. A friend of mine saw several youtube videos on gym excercises. When he tried it out alone at the gym, he ended up with a torn ligament. Therefore, people need to take extreme caution when lifting heavy weights, especially if they are new to it.

But this doesn't dimish the fact the exercising and strength is extremely vital to living a healthy life. And gyming has the least friction when it comes to getting started. You do not need new equipments or fancy gear, you can strap on your old shoes and hit the gym at any time of the day. Once people start going to the gym, watching other people workout keeps them motivated too. And in as early as two months, people can start noticing the transformations in their body.

In conclusion I would like to say that physical exercise not just keeps the body healthy, it also gives people a sense of confidence. It is an old adage that when you look good you also feel good. And even though gym has its own demerits, but its advantages completely outweigh its demerits. Gym is the easiest habit to pick up and stay commited to. Therefore, I believe that in the future even more people would start working out in the gym and it would be a change for the better.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear positive view and include relevant reasons, especially the convenience of gym-based exercise and the risk of injury without guidance. The badminton example also illustrates why finding a suitable sports partner can be difficult. However, the response does not consistently address the specific trend in the question: hiring a personal trainer. Much of the discussion shifts to gyms generally, and the reasons people choose a trainer over sports or classes are not fully explained. The injury example could support the value of professional guidance, but it does not clearly show why people are increasingly hiring trainers. Develop this comparison directly and explain the benefits and possible drawbacks of personal training to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion, and the examples generally follow the points they are intended to support. Paragraphing helps separate the discussion of sports partners, injury risks and gym convenience. However, the progression is not always clear because the essay moves from personal trainers to gyms more broadly, then presents injury risks without fully connecting them to the stated trend. Some linking phrases, such as “But this doesn't diminish the fact,” signal contrast, but the relationship between the ideas that follow is not fully developed. The conclusion repeats the positive position but again focuses on gyms rather than personal trainers. Keep each paragraph centred on the question and use clearer links between reason, example and evaluation.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “strength train,” “improper posture,” “torn ligament,” “motivated” and “transformations,” which helps communicate health and exercise ideas. There is also some attempt at less common phrasing, such as “least friction” and “demerits,” though these are not always natural in context. Several spelling and word-choice slips remain, including “budy,” “excercises,” “dimish,” “commited” and “gyming”; these do not prevent understanding but reduce accuracy. Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “new equipments” and “strength is extremely vital.” Aim for more natural collocations and precise vocabulary, particularly when discussing personal training rather than exercise in general.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses in “because it is difficult to find a partner…” and the conditional structure “without adequate knowledge… improper posture could lead…”. Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Even though it is important to strength train at the gym, but…” combines two contrasting structures; use either “Although…” or “but.” In “the fact the exercising and strength is…,” the clause needs “that,” and the subject-verb agreement is unclear. The conclusion’s “even though gym has its own demerits, but…” repeats the same faulty pattern. Review articles, agreement and sentence boundaries, while continuing to use varied structures.

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