Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It has become more common that increasingly the number of people are choosing personal fitness trainers instead of participating in games or engaging in exercise classes. While demanding schedules and difficulty to remain consistent for workouts are the main causes, I believe it is mainly a positive development that improves quality of health.

One major reason is the busy schedules. People are constantly occupied with commitments related to work and responsibilities at home. As a result, they have very little time to do physical exercises and take part in sports. Instead of that they find hiring professionals and working under his guidance is far more beneficial . Another major factor is to stay consistent with exercises. Individuals often feel it is challenging to do exercises on a daily basis and they can easily get distracted .Personal trainers help them to stay loyal to their goals.

In my opinion, it is a positive progress. Firstly, it encourages people to make healthy choices by motivating them to do exercises. They make them understand the importance of exercise and games . In this way , they can become more organized and focused about their health .secondly, this development also creates platforms for participants to improve their health in a engaging and relaxing way, working under a trainer guidance can make people feel more comfortable and relax. This is particularly helpful for those who remain reluctant to play games because of their unhealthy physical appearance.

In conclusion, the popularity of trainers is increasing among people who are really concerned about health because of their demanding schedules and unwillingness to participate in games. This trend motivates people to choose activities that can improve their overall health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you identify busy schedules and difficulty maintaining consistency as reasons for hiring trainers, and you clearly judge the trend to be positive. The explanation that trainers motivate people and help them focus on health is relevant. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that working with a trainer is “far more beneficial” is not supported with a specific comparison to sports or classes, and the point about people feeling reluctant because of their appearance could be developed further. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely how personal training fits busy routines and give a concrete example of its benefits or limitations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on reasons, a paragraph explaining your view, and a conclusion. The progression from causes to evaluation is easy to follow, and signposts such as “One major reason,” “Firstly,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some flexibility in linking ideas. However, several transitions feel mechanical, and connections within sentences are occasionally unclear, as in “Instead of that they find hiring professionals…” The second body paragraph also moves quickly between motivation, organisation, comfort, and appearance. Use more precise referencing and develop each point in a clearer sequence to make cohesion more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “demanding schedules,” “commitments,” “consistent,” “motivating,” and “overall health.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word combinations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “stay loyal to their goals,” “creates platforms for participants,” and “a trainer guidance.” Repetition of “exercises” and “health” also limits flexibility. Aim to learn vocabulary in natural collocations and choose wording that expresses the intended meaning precisely. For example, trainers can help clients “stay committed to their goals,” while personalised sessions may “provide a supportive environment.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening with “While” and cause-and-effect structures such as “As a result.” Most sentences remain understandable, so grammatical problems do not generally obstruct your meaning. Some errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation are present. For instance, “the number of people are choosing” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “working under his guidance” does not agree with the plural reference to professionals. There are also missing or misplaced spaces and punctuation around sentence boundaries, including “distracted .Personal” and “health .secondly.” Review agreement and article use, and proofread punctuation while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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