Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Hiring a personal fitness trainer has became a trend nowadays. Most of the people believe that instead of involving in other extra-curricular activities, following the guidelines of an instructor is more beneficial. And I think it is a positive development.

To begin with, there are many advantages for having a personal trainer. Some people have only limited knowledge in doing fitness workouts. In such cases, a proper trainer could help them to do workouts and give instructions for taking supplements to get more fit. For instance, in Japan, the government provide a personal caretaker who is a certified fitness instructor for retired military persons which helped them to maintain a healthy life in their older age.

In addition, playing sports is not possible for everyone. Because, everyone have different work schedule and most of the sports are group activities which makes inconvenient for all to participate at the same time. Same with taking exercise classes. People are not willing to attend classes which is far from their homes. Even nowadays online classes are available, they find it uncomfortable.

In conclusion, hiring a personal trainer is more convenient and have more advantages. The people are not much aware of fitness training and not have enough time to spend for doing other activities.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of this trend. However, the development of ideas is limited, and the essay fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the depth of the argument. While the position is clear, the supporting points—such as the example regarding retired military personnel in Japan—are somewhat underdeveloped and lack sufficient detail to fully explore the implications of the trend. To improve, you should expand on your arguments with more detailed explanations and examples to ensure the response is sufficiently comprehensive.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the use of these devices is somewhat mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed. For example, the transition between the discussion of sports and exercise classes could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that referencing within and between sentences is more precise and natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on simple, repetitive phrasing (e.g., 'doing fitness workouts', 'doing other activities'). There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'involving in' instead of 'engaging in' and 'have only limited knowledge in' instead of 'have limited knowledge of'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise, topic-specific vocabulary and collocations related to health and fitness to demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('everyone have', 'the government provide') and tense errors ('has became'). Additionally, there are punctuation and phrasing issues, such as starting sentences with 'And' or 'Because' in a way that feels informal. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and refining your control over complex sentence structures will help improve your accuracy.

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