Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In this modern era, everyone has hectic schedule so, people don't have much time to do different exercises and playing outdoor games. There are various individuals who like to hire personal trainer to keep themself fit. I will discuss if it is a positive or negative development in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin with, having a personal fitness trainer have number of positive impacts. Firstly, they don't need to waste their time to go gym and sports centers to keep themself fit when they have personal trainer. For example, trainer always gives them perfect diet and tell them what to do in daily routine which helps them to be fit. Secondly, due to hectic schedule people don't have much time to go to exercise classes and playing sports but they need to be fit to do their work more efficiently that's why they like to hire personal trainer.
On the other hand, having a personal trainer rather than doing exercise and playing games also have negative development. Foremost, when people do exercise, they feel more energetic and do their work more efficiently and when they have trainer, they are lazier to do things by their own as well as when they are doing exercise class, they interact with different kind of people which helps them to be more extrovert otherwise there are various individuals who always feel lonely and stressed.
In brief, when people don't have much time due to hectic schedule having personal trainer is beneficial for them to keep themself fit but, doing exercise and playing sports have more positive result because people feel more energetic as well as fresh when they do yoga and other activities. So, having personal trainer for short time is beneficial but doing other physical activities are more effectives.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for hiring personal trainers and discussing whether it is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding the 'negative' aspect is slightly confusing, as it conflates the act of hiring a trainer with the loss of social interaction, which could have been explained more clearly. The position is generally clear, but the supporting arguments lack depth and specific examples. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations and ensure that your stance is consistently maintained throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Secondly', and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions between ideas. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the link between 'hiring a trainer' and 'not needing to go to the gym' is slightly contradictory. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You frequently use phrases like 'hectic schedule', 'keep themself fit', and 'do their work more efficiently'. While these are relevant, they do not demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary. There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'do exercise' instead of 'exercise' or 'do physical activities'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations related to health and fitness to show a greater range and flexibility in your language use.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally affect the clarity of your writing. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'having a personal fitness trainer have'), missing articles, and incorrect pronoun usage (e.g., 'themself' instead of 'themselves'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To achieve a higher score, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and attempt to use a wider variety of complex sentence structures with greater precision.
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