Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many countries, the number of owning the private vehicles is increasing which led to the high traffic congestion in the cities worldwide. I believe this can cause sevre issues like air pollution and health related problems. To combat this, authorities and individuals needs to take prompt action such as encourge the motor vehicles and by choosing smarter transport options.

To begin with, the major problem faced by a lot of people is air pollution which directly effects the environment. This is not just affect the trees and the climate but also ruining the health of folks especially padestrians. People who are walking on footpaths or cycling at the same time suffer the huge as it cause the serious health issues such as asthma. According to World Health Organiztion reports of 2025, 80% people have asthma problem in every country due to the air pollution which is caused by traffic congestion and huge numbers of vehicles on the road. Hence, this problem is causing a serious issues majorly to health.

To reduce the traffic congestion governments and individuals can take valuable and effective steps. Governments can encourage the use of electric vehicles by which environment and human health issues can be resolved. Moreover, Individually can choose the smarter transport options. For example, If they want to go anywhere under 5 km, they can go by cycle or walk which improves their health and reduces traffic. Also, they can switch to the public transport for few days of the week as public transport can carry dozens of people. It also reduces the road pressure.

In conclusion, traffic congestion can cause a serious problems like asthma, this issue can be accountable and resolved by the goverment and individuals through encouraging the use of electric vehicle and choosing the smart transport options.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for reasons why people hire personal fitness trainers and whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the essay discusses traffic congestion and air pollution. Because the response fails to address the task requirements entirely, it cannot be assessed on the content of the argument. According to IELTS criteria, a response that is completely unrelated to the prompt must be penalized heavily in Task Achievement, as it does not fulfill the task instructions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs with clear topic sentences, such as 'To begin with' and 'To reduce the traffic congestion'. There is a clear introduction and conclusion. Cohesive devices like 'Moreover', 'For example', and 'Hence' are used to connect ideas. While the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the structural organization of the text itself is coherent and follows a standard essay format, which allows for a higher score in this criterion compared to Task Achievement.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, though somewhat repetitive and limited in range. There are several spelling errors, such as 'sevre' (severe), 'encourge' (encourage), 'padestrians' (pedestrians), and 'goverment' (government). The student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary related to transport, such as 'traffic congestion' and 'electric vehicles', but the lack of variety and the presence of spelling mistakes limit the score. More precise and varied vocabulary would be required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity, such as 'the number of owning the private vehicles' (incorrect noun phrase construction), 'authorities and individuals needs' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'Individually can choose' (incorrect word form). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents a higher score. The student demonstrates an attempt at complex sentences, but these are often marred by structural inaccuracies.

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