Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In todays era, a lot of people face problem of obesity or high blood pressure , high cholesterol , stress and many more due to unhealthy diet and lack of exercise or outside activity. There are some people who hire a professional trainer for personal training and the reason behind this is lack of confidence and knowledge about nutrients beside to do exercise classes or playing sports. It has both positive and negative development and explain my view in upcoming paragraph.

The reason behind this development is that people chose training as their profession and future rather to just fitness. They follow the path to become top at their own field . for instance player like messi have their personal coach who train him give him diet which is full of nutrients and that is the reason why he is goat in his profession. The plus point of the development is also based on that example to become elite in the steam people hire a personal trainer which helps to cover the weak point and help to boost confidence. Moving further, personal coaches helps to make a player stronger by physically as well as mentally so that player face problem on both on and off the field wit ease.

On the other side, the fees of hire coaches is expensive not every one hire them by this the middle class player lose their confidence. Secondly, some people just want to fit their body so they do not need to pay coaches to teach them because in technology era every single thing you can find on internet so there is no need to hire a coach. Lastly, sports games are playing just for fun and entertainment purpose if a person does not want to become pro in that so there is no need to hire a coach.

Overall, every development has both positive and negative effect. in this development if a person want to become on top of their field then it is important to hire a professional coach otherwise for exercise there are a lot of influencer for different stream in internet which will help to guide for example gym exercise channel are available on youtube with proper technic and poster.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While the reasons (professional ambition vs. general fitness) are clear, the discussion on whether it is positive or negative is slightly muddled by the focus on professional athletes like Messi, which is a specific niche rather than the general population. The position is clear, but the arguments could be more balanced and better supported with broader examples. Some points, such as the mention of 'influencers' on YouTube, are relevant but could be integrated more smoothly into the overall argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'For instance', 'Moving further', and 'On the other side'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'the plus point of the development is also based on that example'. While the paragraphing is sufficient, the logical progression within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more naturally rather than relying on simple transitions.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'nutrients', 'professional trainer', and 'elite'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choices and minor errors, such as 'in todays era', 'steam' (likely meaning 'field' or 'sector'), and 'poster' (likely meaning 'posture'). The range is sufficient to communicate, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band. The repetition of basic terms like 'coach' and 'trainer' also limits the lexical variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('the' internet, 'a' professional), subject-verb agreement issues ('coaches helps'), and punctuation errors. Some sentences are run-on or lack necessary prepositions, such as 'fees of hire coaches is expensive'. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to demonstrate a lack of control over complex structures. To improve, the student should focus on basic sentence construction, article usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are punctuated correctly to avoid ambiguity.

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