Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Nowadays, more number of people are avoiding playing sports or doing group exercise classes and instead of it they are hiring personal fitness trainer to improve their health. It has grown rapidly because of several reasons such as getting body shamed in public and also focusing on themselves rather than involving in groups as they get distracted by others. I believe this has developed negative impact in today's world.

Firstly, people who are unfit and fat get easily body shamed because of their weight and body structure. They become easy target when they can't perform or underperform in any group sports. For example, if a player who is fat and couldn't able to run to field in sports like cricket and football, he or she gets demotivated by his other teammates. Secondly, people are choosing to isolate themselves and believe in personal growth as they find difficult to concentrate in group activities and sports. They feel people talk more rather than playing game or doing exercise.

However, this has created a negative impact in the culture. Social gathering has been reduced a lot by this which impacts overall bonding in society. For instance, when people play team sports together they not only are working on their physical health but they are also building communication and trust between themselves. Apart from this, people are getting lonely day by day and their mental health is being disturbed by this.

To conclude, people should play together with some rules and regulations like avoid any unnecessary talks during game or exercise and also respect each other even though a person is physically unfit and motivate them to make their health better.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for the trend and providing a clear opinion on whether it is a positive or negative development. The ideas are relevant, such as the fear of body shaming and the desire for personal focus. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation regarding 'body shaming' could be more nuanced, and the discussion on the negative impact on society is a bit brief. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand your supporting arguments with more detailed analysis or broader societal implications, ensuring the connection between the reasons and your overall position is more robust.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. You use some cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'However', and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the reasons for hiring a trainer and the negative impact on society could be more sophisticated. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, which occasionally affects the progression of ideas. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'personal fitness trainer', 'physical health', and 'social gathering'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'more number of people' (should be 'a greater number of people') and 'developed negative impact' (should be 'had a negative impact'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and you rely on fairly common words. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to demonstrate a wider range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'instead of it they are hiring' (should be 'instead, they are hiring'), 'couldn't able to' (should be 'was unable to'), and 'demotivated by his other teammates' (should be 'demotivated by their teammates'). There are also issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur often enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and refining your use of complex structures will help improve your score.

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