Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Discussion on positive and negative development for hiring personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes in some countries, Here I am giving my both point of view, and after that I am giving my own opinion.

In some of the countries peoples who are living there in major big cities have noticed that they are avoiding going outside just because after getting work peoples don't have that much time to invest for outdoor classes, and beyond that they prefer hiring a personal fitness trainer at their own locations or at home. which is understandable that due to city busy lifestyle and living at tall building apartments they avoided to take sports classes just to save their time, and I understand living in the major big city time value is very important.

On the other hand, if people started heavily depended on personal trainer, then they will lose the social interaction which will deeply impact on their personal body language, as this they will them start become as a person, and which is not a good thing, also outdoor physical activity help us to connect with nature by which we breath better and our body feels connected.

My opinion both have a positive sides, but I believe playing sports or doing exercise not only impact on our physical body but also our mental strength, while depended on personal trainer will not help us to gain mental strength, but also detached us from social interaction.

In conclusion playing sports and doing exercise classes have more positive development rather than personal trainer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is limited. The reasons provided—time constraints and busy city lifestyles—are relevant but lack depth. Similarly, the discussion on the negative aspects, such as the loss of social interaction, is mentioned but not fully explored with concrete examples or nuanced reasoning. The position is clear, but the overall argument remains somewhat superficial. To improve, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations or specific examples to demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the phrase 'as this they will them start become as a person' is confusing and disrupts the flow of the argument. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, making the progression of ideas feel disjointed. While there is an attempt to use linking words, they are not always used effectively to connect ideas logically. Improving the variety and accuracy of your cohesive devices will help your writing flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic or repetitive phrasing, such as 'major big cities' and 'good thing'. There are also instances of awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'heavily depended on' (should be 'heavily dependent on') and 'time value is very important' (should be 'time is valuable'). To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise, academic vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly and professionally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'peoples who are living'), incorrect word forms (e.g., 'depended' instead of 'dependent'), and awkward sentence construction. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and missing commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar limits the score. Focusing on sentence structure, tense consistency, and proofreading for basic errors will significantly improve your writing.

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