Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
A trend can be seen in several nations about hiring a personal fitness trainer despite taking part in sports and exercises. There are certain reasons behind it, and this essay will discuss whether it is a positive or negative development.
To start with, people are undoubtedly becoming more health-conscious these days, and this is one of the main reasons behind this change. To take care of their health and maintain their body as required, they prefer to pay for it; as a result, they get advice, supervision, motivation, and a strict schedule. Another reason could be their busy lifestyle. Gone are the days when they follow a strict schedule for work and play; however, due to flexible working hours, they hardly match their timing with others to take part in sports and exercise regularly.
On the positive side, it allows them to stay fit after hiring a personal trainer who can help with their dietary plan, keep them motivated, and adjust to their schedule. Moreover, this concept promotes employment opportunities for those who are really good at providing training and being patient with others. This helps them earn and learn simultaneously.
On the negative side, it hinders their overall development as, by taking part in sports, they will not be able to stay fit but also learn teamwork, sportsmanship, and patience in many ways. Likewise, exercising helps them to interact with others as they do in a team; they meet together; as a result, it boosts their mental health along with physical fitness.
From my perspective, although it offers chances for people to stay fit, playing sports and doing exercises are beneficial for overall body and mind growth, as it not only focuses on physical activity but also mentally activeness.
In conclusion, a busier lifestyle and being health-conscious are the reasons; however, despite having certain benefits, it is also a negative development as sports and exercise are more vital
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for the trend (health consciousness and busy lifestyles) and providing a clear position on whether it is a positive or negative development. The ideas are relevant and generally well-supported. However, the development of the 'negative' side could be more nuanced; while you mention social benefits of sports, the argument could be strengthened by contrasting the specific, tailored benefits of a trainer against the broader, holistic benefits of community sports. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and lacks a final summary of the main points, but the overall task requirements are met effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the reasons, the positive aspects, and the negative aspects. Cohesive devices such as 'To start with', 'Moreover', and 'On the negative side' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be improved by using more varied referencing. For instance, the final sentence of the essay is a fragment and lacks a proper concluding thought, which slightly impacts the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision, using terms like 'health-conscious', 'supervision', 'dietary plan', and 'sportsmanship'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'mentally activeness' (should be 'mental alertness' or 'mental activity') and 'they meet together' (which is redundant). While the vocabulary is adequate for the task, it lacks the sophistication and idiomatic control required for higher bands. Expanding your use of collocations and more precise academic terminology would elevate your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is good control over basic grammar, but there are recurring errors that slightly impede the flow. For example, 'A trend can be seen in several nations about hiring' is slightly awkward; 'regarding' or 'towards' would be better. The phrase 'they will not be able to stay fit but also learn' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'not only stay fit but also learn'. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as the misuse of semicolons and missing commas in complex sentences. These errors are frequent enough to prevent a higher band score.
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