Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Personal fitness trainer hiring becoming more trendy in all new culture rather than the people go out, playing games or doing yoga and exercises because the new technology start making people more busier and lazy. According to me, this the negative growth between individuals with waste of money, time and disconnectivity with outer world.

The personal trainers hiring has became a modern and luxery culture which is coming from the social media. These days everyone have a social media account which is not only influence them to hire a personal trainer but also make them to purchase different products for their health issues. For example, the instagram has been became a popular social media platform which continuously encourage people to hire personal trainer to train their body. It is also a way, how people can show their luxuary lifestyle to another person.

This is a negative development of the society where people continously shows disconnectivity with the outer world. People try to stay home more than go out for the exercise which means humans are losing the morning sunlight and suffering from the vitamin D defficiency. Moreover, the higher amount of money and less experience is also an another negative effect of the persoanl tutor to human body. While taking a plan, people forget to check the knowlege of the tutor which can do make some side effects to their body. For example, according to doctors reserach, these days most of the humans are suffering from the vitamin D and B12 defficency which means personal trainers hiring is not effective decision for the health.

To conclude, the personal fittness trainers are not necessary for the people. Instead of hiring them, people should go out from the house for doing exercise, palying sports and walking around. While doing walking outside, people can meet to their friends and talk with them about their peoblems which may have a positive effect on their hectic and stressful schudule.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for the trend and the evaluation of whether it is a positive or negative development. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding vitamin D deficiency as a result of hiring a personal trainer is a bit tenuous and lacks logical depth. While the response covers the requirements, the supporting points could be more thoroughly explained and grounded in more realistic examples to reach a higher band. The ideas are relevant but occasionally feel repetitive.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a basic attempt at using cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'For example', and 'To conclude'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'This is a negative development of the society'. The progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, but the transitions between the reasons for the trend and the evaluation of the trend could be smoother to improve the overall coherence of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'modern and luxery culture', 'disconnectivity with outer world', and 'persoanl tutor to human body'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there are noticeable spelling errors (e.g., 'luxery', 'defficiency', 'peoblems', 'schudule'). To improve, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling of common terms related to health and lifestyle.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences often contain grammatical errors. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'everyone have', 'instagram has been became'), article usage, and word order. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to cause difficulty for the reader and indicate a lack of control over more complex grammatical structures. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.

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