Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is an increasing trend where travellers prefer to visit international destinations rather than travelling to their native country. Although visiting abroad help communters to learn about unique international attractions, I believe that doing this put financial stress on their family.

One of the primary reasons why people prefer to travel foreign countries is spending their leisure time with their family at their favourite international spots . They do this to learn about different culture across the world, which helps them to gain handful experience of their societal norms. For instance, if a tourist visits Jaipur often seen as wearing traditionally Rajasthani dress, which shows he wants to experience a different culture. Therefore, commuting to a totally new places help visitors to learn about them.

On the other hand, there are certain demerits of visitng a foreign country such as financial stress and social behaviour. Travelling abroads need certain arrangements, such obtaining visas, reserving flight seats and hotel room booking, which eventually puts financial stress to any family upto a great extent. Secondly, people are often seen facing problems due to language barrier, in addition, they often felt helpless in case of emergency.For example, a traveller visitng Paris often struggle to speak french language and native people behavior is not good to those who does not speak their language. As a result, instead of enjoying their vacation, commuters often face challenges.

Although, there are certain advantages of travelling to foreign countries, such as gaining different cultural exposure across the world, I still believe that disadvantages such as financial stress and language barries surpass the advantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks about the trend of hiring personal fitness trainers versus playing sports, but the essay discusses international travel. Because the response does not address the task question at all, it fails to meet the requirements for Task Achievement. While the ideas are presented in a structured way, they are irrelevant to the specific prompt provided. To improve, you must carefully read the task instructions and ensure your content directly answers the question asked, rather than writing a pre-memorized or unrelated essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs with clear topic sentences. There is a discernible attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'Secondly', and 'For instance'. However, the progression of ideas is hampered by the fact that the content is irrelevant to the prompt. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body, and conclusion. While the structure is sound, the lack of relevance to the task makes the overall coherence ineffective in the context of the examination.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, showing some attempts at less common items such as 'societal norms', 'demerits', and 'financial stress'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'handful experience' (likely meaning 'hands-on') and 'travelling abroads'. Spelling errors like 'visitng' and 'barries' also occur. While the range is sufficient to express ideas, the inaccuracies in word choice and spelling prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('traveller visitng Paris often struggle', 'native people behavior is not good to those who does not speak'), missing articles, and incorrect preposition usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear despite these errors, the frequency of grammatical slips limits the score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent use of articles.

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