Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In few nations, a lot of people are being trained by personal trainer except performing physical activities and practicing sports due to lack of knowledge related to physical health and fitness, so I believe that it is positive impact but it might have some drawbacks. As I mentioned people do not like to study about physical training moreover they get motivated because they are paying someone to get knowledge. As per my perspective not everyone can hire someone for the training which is negative point.
Firstly, I would like elaborate the beneficial aspects of body training with fitness coach that individuals don't have enough information regarding the physical health. trainers have a lot of knowledge about physical training which they will share with other persons and tell them the positive impacts. For example, a person don't have any knowledge about health and his trainer starts to explain the benefits of the specific exercises and how it can affect the body positively to avoid the health problems and maintain the body in good shape. Moreover, the reason behind a person gets personal trainer because of the person have low self-esteem and by getting the personal trainer they get more motivated to do the training.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address the reasons for hiring a trainer and touch upon whether it is a positive or negative development, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack depth. The explanation regarding why people choose trainers is repetitive, and the analysis of the 'positive or negative' aspect is superficial. To improve, you must expand your points with more specific examples and ensure you fully explore both sides of the argument to meet the length requirement and demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by the brevity of the text. You use some basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'Moreover', but the transitions between sentences are sometimes mechanical or abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'the reason behind a person gets personal trainer because of the person have low self-esteem'. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument more smoothly.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
Your vocabulary is generally functional but limited in range. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'physical training' and 'knowledge', which restricts the sophistication of your writing. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'In few nations' (should be 'In some nations') and 'elaborate the beneficial aspects' (should be 'elaborate on'). To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition and demonstrate a better grasp of collocations related to health and fitness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('a person don't have', 'the person have low self-esteem') and article usage ('a personal trainer' vs 'personal trainer'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these persistent errors suggest a lack of control over complex sentence forms. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will help improve your accuracy significantly.
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