Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In technological era, health is becoming an important part of everyones life. Many group of individuals opine that it is better to have a health specialist in life rather than playing games like sports or to attend any classes related to fitness. There are several reasons behind this point, however, i disagree with the above notion and my statements along with the reasons are discussed in the ensuring paragraphs.

To begin with , there are myraids of reasons why personal health coach is important in life. Firstly,now a days people are so hectic in their life schedule that they do not have a leisure time to go on gym to maintain their health life balance. so, they perfer to hire a dietician online to follow their diet on a weekly or monthly schedule. secondly, people also feel bored to go outside and play sports or doing other leisure activities because due to the technological advancement they used to spent most of their leisure time on watching mobile phones, movies ,and series on online OTT platforms.

However, i think there are various disadvantages of this situations because sports is the thing through wihch persons show their inner talent and become famous at international level. To cite an example, sachin tendulkar who is a famous cricketer started his career when he was 18 years old and now he is known as the god of cricket. so, with the sports one can achieve fame in their life. Another reason is , now a days peoples are suffering from anxiety and depression because they should not maintain their life balance between work and family. Thus by going to yoga and meditation classes feels everyone relaxed and think outside the box.

To recapitulate, there are many reasons to hire a professional trainers but, to show the inner talent and one need to free from anxiety and stress everyone must play sports or attend any classes related to health.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention hectic schedules and boredom as reasons, these points could be expanded with more depth. Your position is clear, but the argument regarding the benefits of sports could be more effectively linked to the prompt's focus on personal trainers. To improve, ensure that each paragraph provides a more detailed explanation and a concrete example that directly supports your main argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Firstly', 'However', and 'To recapitulate'. However, some of these transitions feel mechanical or are used incorrectly, such as 'my statements along with the reasons are discussed in the ensuring paragraphs'. Additionally, the flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing or punctuation errors. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that the progression of ideas within paragraphs is smoother.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'technological advancement', 'leisure activities', and 'meditation'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'health life balance' instead of 'work-life balance' and 'go on gym' instead of 'go to the gym'. There are also some spelling errors like 'myraids' and 'perfer'. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and proofreading your work to catch minor spelling and word-form mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'because due to the technological advancement they used to spent most of their leisure time'. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement ('peoples are suffering') and article usage ('the sports'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement.

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