Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
Sports and gyms are indispensable parts of our lives. In this day and age, many people prefer to hire a personal trainer to get advice for their fitness and nutrition needs. Others still prefer to play natural sports like cricket, volleyball, basketball, football, and many more or do exercise at home or in classes to keep themselves fit and healthy. From my perspective, it is a negative trend; people ought to look for personal exercises and sports to stay healthy.
One of the principal reasons is the time and availability of people to play sports. To elaborate, people who live in metropolitan cities do not have an adequate amount of time to play sports or do exercise. Even if they find a time to play sports, it is not a case that everyone is available at the same time to play any games. In that case, a personal trainer can guide you in the appropriate way to keep yourself active.
Moreover, people try to imitate their ideals after watching them on social media like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. Although they cannot afford a personal trainer, they will do it by following the trend. The celebrities have an abundant amount of money, and they are in a career where body shape and size matter a lot, but it is not the case for a common person. For instance, a recent news article from "Times of India" states that people are hiring more and more personal trainers in the past few decades compared to the past.
In my view, it is a negative trend because people who are astute will never do such a thing unless they have an excessive amount of money to spend. Having said that, sports and exercise are true natural stress busters; they help people to unwind after a hectic day.
To conclude, hiring a personal fitness mentor totally depends on each individual's financial condition and mindset. Nevertheless, no one can replace the importance of natural sports and gyms in our lives. One should make a shrewd decision before choosing one of them.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for the trend and an evaluation of whether it is positive or negative. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The explanation regarding 'time and availability' is logical, but the second reason—social media influence—is less clearly connected to why people hire trainers specifically, as it focuses more on general trends. The argument that it is a negative trend is supported, but could be more deeply explored by contrasting the benefits of personal training (e.g., tailored health plans) with the drawbacks more explicitly. Overall, the response covers the requirements well but lacks depth in the analysis of the 'negative' aspect.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'One of the principal reasons', 'Moreover', and 'To conclude' are used effectively to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing within paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the link between the social media point and the conclusion about financial status is a bit abrupt. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriate for the task. You use some good collocations like 'indispensable parts', 'hectic day', and 'shrewd decision'. There are some instances where word choice could be more precise; for example, 'natural sports' is slightly unnatural in this context—'traditional sports' or 'team sports' would be better. The phrase 'abundant amount of money' is also slightly awkward; 'significant financial resources' would be more academic. The range is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but lacks the sophistication required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some minor grammatical slips, such as 'it is not a case that everyone is available' and 'in the past few decades compared to the past', which are slightly redundant or awkward. However, these errors do not impede communication. You show good control over punctuation and sentence construction. To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of complex structures, such as conditional sentences or more varied subordinate clauses, to demonstrate greater flexibility and control over your grammar.
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