Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The healthy lifestyle are become very popular in some nations. Nowadays, the citizens are hiring personal fitness trainer rather than playing physicial games with others. According to me, this trend is positive development and i will discuss my view in the following paragraph.

Firstly, every individuals are in the rat race to became a rich and they do not have a enough time to go for gym or in the play ground but they want personally fit body so that's why they hire the trainer. They can make schedule according there availability. Furthermore, it also help to person do exercise without any hersite because some of them are intervort and they do not want do exercise in front of people that's why they hire there personal trainer.

To co-relate with above statement, this trend also increase the job opportunity of trainer. This help trainer to earn good money from the different customer with this they can also stable their lifestyle. Moreover, if people life health lifestyle so they also stay away from the disease and they also get know what diet they have to eat stay healthy with this they can also go less in the hospital. However, it also have bad effect, if people are doing ercerise in the home so they do not get the minerial from they soil and they value of sport is also get decrease and every less new player are become in the sport fields

To conclude, This trend is good to some extend but it also have drawbacks. people do not have to take fitness

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the reasons (time constraints, privacy) are relevant, the discussion on the 'positive or negative' aspect is somewhat muddled. The argument regarding the 'negative' side—specifically the claim about 'minerals from the soil'—is unclear and lacks logical connection to the topic of fitness training. Furthermore, the conclusion is incomplete, failing to provide a final summary of your position. To reach a higher band, ensure each paragraph has a clear, fully developed argument and that your conclusion restates your main stance clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by unclear phrasing and abrupt transitions. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', and 'To conclude', their usage is sometimes mechanical or misused, such as 'To co-relate with above statement'. The referencing is occasionally confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of your argument. Paragraphing is present, but the final paragraph is cut off, which negatively impacts the overall structure and coherence of the response. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'physicial games', 'personally fit body', and 'stable their lifestyle'. You also struggle with word forms, for example, 'healthy lifestyle are become' instead of 'a healthy lifestyle is becoming'. While the meaning is usually clear, the limited range of vocabulary and the frequent errors in word choice prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on learning common collocations related to health and fitness and pay closer attention to word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('every individuals are'), article usage ('the healthy lifestyle'), and sentence structure ('if people life health lifestyle'). There is a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentences, but the complex structures are often faulty, leading to confusion. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be distracting. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be a great starting point for improvement.

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