Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, people are becoming more health-conscious just because of unwanted diseases like obesity. Instead of playing sports or doing outdoor activities, an increasing number move forward to a higher level of professional fitness training, especially for themselves in some nations. I think that it is a negative development because it is a waste of money. I will explain more reasons in the further paragraphs.

One of the main causes for not hiring a personal trainer is that it is very expensive. Professional fitness trainers have a very high amount of weekly or yearly plans, and individuals spend money to buy these plans. However, playing sports and doing exercises do not require paying a certain amount of fees. People can do these kinds of activities in any open ground to save money. For example, my friend Aman, who spends $50 per month to hire a personal trainer, even after he does not get a better services from him trainer.

This is a negative development because people are forgetting to do physical sports and activities in their lives. Due to this, they are not good in sports and activities. In addition, their minds do not develop very well because they do not participate in group activities as well as sports. People do not play sports like cricket, which is a group game, so they have to coordinate with other players in order to increase team management skills as well.

To conclude, a personal fitness trainer can give the best way to explain knowledge about exercises, even though I think that this is not a good idea because nowadays smartphones have enough applications to get such information to save useful money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the opinion on whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The reasons provided (cost and lack of social interaction) are relevant, but the explanation is repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the argument about 'team management skills' is a good point but is not fully explored. The position is clear throughout, but the essay would benefit from more nuanced arguments to reach a higher band. The conclusion introduces a new point about smartphone applications, which is slightly off-topic as it does not directly address the reasons for hiring trainers or the development itself.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In addition', 'However', and 'To conclude', which help the flow of ideas. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'even after he does not get a better services from him trainer', where the connection to the previous clause is awkward. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow the argument, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be smoother.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'health-conscious', 'professional fitness training', and 'team management skills'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'a very high amount of weekly or yearly plans' (should be 'high cost') and 'get a better services' (grammatical error). The range is sufficient to communicate, but it lacks the precision and variety of less common lexical items required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'move forward to a higher level' (unnatural phrasing), 'even after he does not get a better services from him trainer' (incorrect pronoun and article usage), and 'they are not good in sports' (should be 'at'). These errors do not impede communication, but they are noticeable. To improve, the student should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions and articles to increase the accuracy of their complex sentences.

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