Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many nation , numerous people are prefered personal tudiner as compared to do po playing sports and doing exercise by their own . I would share the reasens behind this and I think that its negative development . which go wille explein in upcomi ng paragraphe .

First and formost reasene is thae some individual really do not have much knowledge about sports or exereise . so, the hence, they belive they also need someone who teach them how to do exercise or

what exercise they should do or not. They need personal trainer who explain everything to them. For example, I saw there was lady in the gym who was doing exercise she did not know about some exercise, but she would not be asked to for help because everyone was busy with their own workout so, one staff member came to her and suggest for personal fitness trainer which can help her alot with their workout. Apart from this,

Some people are not that strong that they can play sports. Sometime they need someone who can give them motivation and strength which personal fitness trainer help them to give.

On the other hand, there are some negative points. Firstly, it is too expensive to have personal trainer. Sometime people can not afford it. They should do outdoor activities with their friends or someone which help them for their health.

Furthermore, personal fitness trainer have daily session. For example they have limited time in which they will explained you everything they will not spend you more than one hour on your which I think not good because you are paying too much for your workout sometime you can not even understand within that limited time.

To conclusion, there are some reasons behind people are hiring personal trainer but of

their negative development

can not be overlooked.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention a lack of knowledge and a need for motivation as reasons, these points are not fully explored. The negative aspects are also briefly touched upon, such as cost and time constraints. To improve, you should aim to expand on your arguments with more detailed explanations or broader societal implications. The position is clear, but the overall depth of the response is closer to the Band 5 level due to the simplistic nature of the supporting arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'so, the hence' or 'which go wille explein'. There are also issues with referencing and logical flow between sentences. For instance, the transition between the example of the lady in the gym and the broader argument about motivation is abrupt. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using a wider range of linking words more naturally and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus that progresses logically from the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors that occasionally impede readability, such as 'tudiner' for 'trainer', 'reasens' for 'reasons', and 'formost' for 'foremost'. You rely on basic vocabulary to express your ideas. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precision and the high frequency of errors in word choice and spelling prevent the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, you should focus on learning common collocations related to health and fitness and proofreading your work to correct basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('numerous people are prefered'), article usage, and sentence structure ('which I think not good'). There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the errors in basic grammar often distract the reader. While you attempt to use some complex ideas, the execution is frequently faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that your verbs and nouns agree and that you are using appropriate tenses consistently throughout the essay.

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