Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
People now-a-days are making efforts to live a healthy lifestyle. From having a balanced diet to calories intakes, almost everything is measured. But rather than indulging in some physical activities or doing some exercise, individuals are more into hiring a personal trainer. This essay will discuss about the causes behind this and whether this is advantageous or disadvantageous for them?
Personal coaches are the experienced people who have expertise in this field. By hiring them, one not only get benefited from their skills and knowledge bu
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under the required word count of 250 words, reaching only 86 words. Consequently, the task is not fully addressed. While the introduction attempts to set up the essay by mentioning the causes and the nature of the development, the body paragraphs are incomplete and cut off mid-sentence. Because the response is unfinished, the ideas are not developed, and the prompt's requirements regarding reasons and the evaluation of the trend are not met. To improve, you must ensure you write a full essay with clear, supported arguments for each part of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The response is too brief to demonstrate a clear logical progression or effective paragraphing. While there is a basic attempt at an introduction, the lack of a completed body and conclusion means there is no overall coherence. Cohesive devices are used in the opening, such as 'But rather than', but the text ends abruptly, preventing any meaningful assessment of organizational skills. To achieve a higher score, you must provide a structured essay with clear topic sentences and logical transitions between fully developed ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the topic, such as 'balanced diet', 'calories intakes', and 'expertise'. However, the range is limited due to the brevity of the text. There are minor errors, such as 'now-a-days' (should be 'nowadays') and 'calories intakes' (should be 'calorie intake'). Because the text is incomplete, it is difficult to demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary or the ability to use less common lexical items with precision. Expanding your writing will allow you to showcase a broader and more sophisticated range of vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex structures, such as the opening sentence and the conditional 'By hiring them...'. However, there are grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'discuss about' (the verb 'discuss' does not take a preposition) and 'one not only get benefited' (should be 'gets'). The sentence structure is generally clear, but the incomplete nature of the text limits the assessment of your ability to maintain accuracy over a longer piece of writing. Focus on subject-verb agreement and avoiding redundant prepositions.
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