Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, individuals tend to have a personal trainer for fitness guidance rather than engaging in the sports games and exercise or yoga classes. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this trend before the my view point why I consider this as a negative approach.

One compelling aspects which attracts more people to fitness trainer are that they provide more promising results within the defined timeline. Personal fitness coach assists one to identifies his personalize diet, workout and vitamin intake which he requires to have a healthy body and mind. For instance, hired trainer always guide you to improve your supplements intake and make your you burn enough calories to gain muscles. Thus, individuals prefer to have a personal coach who train their body.

On contrast, As per my prospective, this is a negative development and the prominent factor is that people limit their skills like team work, leadership and quick learning, since they choose to hire fitness trainer rather than playing the sports and doing exercise classes. To simplify, when individuals play more games and attend classes, they will not stay fit, but also will polish their interpersonal skills and social connections. Resulting, overall development and life learning for them which makes them feel more confident and healthy. For example, It is generally seen that person who practice sports regularly and join various exercise and yoga classes will tend to stay more active than other. Therefore, without sports and classes, personal trainer is not worth it.

To conclude, although nowadays people prefer more and more trainer for their fitness, I personally thinks without playing sports games and doing exercise, it is waste of money to hire them. Only collective efforts of both can

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and an evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention 'promising results' and 'interpersonal skills,' these points are not fully extended with deep analysis. Furthermore, the conclusion is incomplete, which leaves the final argument hanging. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more thorough explanation and that your conclusion effectively synthesizes your main points without introducing new ideas or ending abruptly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'One compelling aspect,' 'On contrast,' and 'To conclude.' However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly misused, such as 'On contrast' (should be 'In contrast') and 'Resulting,' which is a sentence fragment. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the lack of a finished conclusion impacts the overall coherence of the piece. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the flow of your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary society,' 'interpersonal skills,' and 'promising results.' However, there are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'the my view point' and 'personal trainer is not worth it.' Some phrasing is repetitive, and the vocabulary lacks the precision required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning common collocations related to health and fitness and ensure you are using words in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's flow, such as 'One compelling aspects which attracts' (subject-verb agreement), 'make your you burn' (repetition/error), and 'person who practice' (should be 'practices'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of minor errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage.

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