Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Being a part of contemporary era, doing physical activities plays incredible role in the lives of humans. In some regions, people are giving preference to hire a personal gym trainer, instead of taking part in games or attending exercise classes. This essay will elaborate causes along with disconstructive development of given statement.

To commence with, there are some reasons associates with above mentioned notion. The predominant cause to take personal coach is getting personal guidance and attention. In other words, recruiting a personal fitness tutor helps to provide more teachniques for gym activities, which reduce injury risk as well as help to get results more faster. Another reason is the hectic sechedule of individuals. In other words, people are extremely busy in official and commercial task that leads less time for proper workout. Thus, more preference is given to personal coach for being fit and fiddle in less time.

Furthermore, there are some demerits of negecting sports and hiring a personal exercise coach. It is an undeniable fact that sports are extremely essential not only for maintaining physical fitness, but also considered as recreational activity. People do not need to invest money for paying fees to coaches, since outdoor games can be played with children, adults for workout. Being a professional person, a gym trainer can give limited time for teaching tricks for exercise. Thus, it is more optimal way to take part in the different sport activities and doing physical work, inspite of depending of coach.

In conclusion, although taking assistance from fitness tutor can provide skills for workout, playing outdoor games are more effective to be physically fit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. The ideas are relevant, such as the need for personal guidance and time constraints. However, the development is somewhat limited. The argument regarding the 'negative' aspect is a bit thin, focusing primarily on cost and the social nature of sports rather than exploring the broader implications of this trend. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations or specific examples to fully develop your position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'disconstructive development of given statement'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will help improve the overall cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary era', 'predominant', and 'recreational activity'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'disconstructive development', 'get results more faster', and 'fit and fiddle'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do highlight a lack of precision. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more sophisticated vocabulary in a natural, contextually appropriate way.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'Being a part of contemporary era' (missing article), 'reasons associates with' (incorrect verb form), and 'inspite of depending of coach' (preposition errors). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your message. To achieve a higher band, you need to improve your control over basic grammar, particularly articles, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement, while continuing to practice more complex sentence structures.

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