Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many nations, more number of people started hiring professional fitness coaches, rather than playing sports or taking part in other physical activities. In this essay, I will discuss the reasoning behind it and conclude with a positive or negative assessment.

On the one hand, people are trying their best to be in good shape and maintain a healthy lifestyle. So, numerous people have started hiring a personal trainer for themselves to help them fight their obesity or an unhealthy lifestyle. As a personal trainer they would focus more on their clients as they would be paying a huge amount of money to them. As guided by a professional it would be more beneficial for one's personal health as they would suggest a good plan for their diet or prepare a road map to achieve the fitness level they desire.

On the other hand, it is about willpower or willingness as many people try to take part in playing sport or doing exercise but due to a lack of consistency they do not get results. Moreover, a lack of knowledge such as where to start is also a main concern, but if people hire a coach, then they would motivate them to work or exercise on a regular basis. For instance, a recent study done by the Oxford Health Institute it shows that gyms or sports arenas make more from people who are not consistent and they lose money on people who have hired a personal trainer as they would not allow them to skip unnecessarily.

In conclusion, I believe that it is a positive development as it would be beneficial for oneself.

It would also help people stay regular and get effective results from it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the assessment of whether this is a positive or negative development. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention motivation and professional guidance, the arguments could be more thoroughly extended with more specific examples or deeper analysis. The conclusion is quite brief and lacks a summary of the main points, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, ensure each body paragraph provides a more comprehensive explanation of the 'why' behind your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the reasons and the assessment. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Moreover' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, but the connection between the Oxford Health Institute example and the argument about consistency could be smoother to better support your point.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'obesity', 'consistency', and 'professional fitness coaches'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'more number of people' (should be 'a greater number of people') and 'prepare a road map'. There is also some repetition of basic words like 'people' and 'exercise'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise collocations and less common lexical items related to the topic of health and fitness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'As a personal trainer they would focus' (the subject 'they' is ambiguous here) and 'it shows that gyms... it shows' (redundant pronoun). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor issues with sentence construction that occasionally impede the flow. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and avoiding redundant pronouns within complex sentences. Increasing the variety of your sentence structures will also help improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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