Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, many individuals hold diverse opinion on a wide range of topics. Many people prefer to hire personal trainer instead of playing outdoors games and daily physical exercises. I partially agree with benefits of this perspective and reasons of behind my argument will be discuss further.

To begin with, there are several merits of hiring personal trainer. Individual can get primary focus and able to improve on specific area without any waiting list. One on one session can observe the growth of a person and motivate them to acheive their goals. Additionally, personal trainer can customized plans as per body requirement and keep environment safe while work out time. To elaborate it, In Indian, mainly gym trainer helps individual for lifting weight and also provide meal chart as per body requirement such as protein, carbohydrates etc. to ensure balanced diet for muscles strength.

However, the role of physical exercises and outdoor activities should not be ignored. Personal trainer demands high wage which is sometime not possible for ordinary people. Hence, a person can maintain their body with participating in outplay such as cricket, hockey, football and many more. Apart from this, a gentle walk, running and using public park equipments can also improve an individuals phsique. To clarify it, a person can utilise park at flexible time. Hence, it can also help to balance physical and mental health.

In conclusion, the proliferation of modern people hire personal trainer instead of doing physical exercise and outdoor play, poses a serious threat to the quality of life. Nodoubt, personal trainer can provide consitant accountablity but benefits of gentle excercise in a park and playing outdoor games should not be ignored. In my opinion, an individual should balance in order to achieve healthy lifestyle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention benefits like personalized attention and safety, the explanation remains quite general. The discussion regarding whether it is a positive or negative development is slightly contradictory; you state you 'partially agree' with the benefits, but then conclude that the trend poses a 'serious threat,' which makes your overall position slightly unclear. To reach a higher band, ensure your stance is consistent throughout the essay and provide more depth in your supporting arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Additionally,' 'However,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the logical progression is slightly hindered by awkward phrasing, such as in the introduction where the transition to your argument is abrupt. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the overall structure would benefit from more sophisticated linking words to connect ideas more fluidly across paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proliferation,' 'accountability,' and 'physique.' However, there are several instances of inaccurate word choice and collocation, such as 'outplay' instead of 'outdoor sports,' 'work out time' instead of 'during workouts,' and 'modern people hire' which is grammatically awkward. Some spelling errors, such as 'acheive' and 'consitant,' also occur. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that your vocabulary choices are precise and natural in the context of the topic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impact the clarity of your writing. Examples include 'reasons of behind my argument will be discuss further' (passive voice error), 'In Indian, mainly gym trainer helps' (article and pluralization errors), and 'an individuals phsique' (missing apostrophe). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed accurately.

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