Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's developing landscape, a physical consciousness has become a vital part of generational lifecycle. Since past few years, It has been observed that majority of individuals are appointing personal gym coaches, rather than adopting physical exercise at home or involving in certain outdoor activities. There are several reasons for this phenomenon and correlated pros and cons too which are elucidated further in this with some appropriate examples.

This is evident when considering training awareness and accessibility restrictions to the online consultations. Beginners with lack of knowledge about the exercise procedure, would be compelled to hire a gym trainer in order to make sure they are following adequate lifting techniques and diet. Moreover, although free online coaching platforms are available for leaning, it is restricted to the certain age groups. For instance, aged masses who are unfamiliar with such information would be inclined towards the private trainers only.

Apart from that, considering the positive outcomes, having personal tutor would not only provide with an enhanced guidance but also coordinate with swift muscle improvement dietary techniques. For example, person with a trainer could build muscles in less amount of time period compared to a self-learning individual.

When it comes to the adverse impact, private teacher could result in a financial predicament down the line, however, thorough research and planning can ,mitigate the occurrence of it. Moreover, it could also culminate in availability constrain as a person has to be relied on trainer's availability.

To warp up the discussion, although getting trained by an expert could accelerate the process and boost knowledge, the cost associated with it could hurt people's financial situation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for hiring personal trainers and discussing the pros and cons. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument regarding 'accessibility restrictions' is a bit vague, and the discussion on the 'adverse impact' could be more thoroughly supported with specific examples. While the position is clear, the essay would benefit from more depth in the analysis of why this trend is occurring and a more nuanced evaluation of whether it is a positive or negative development overall. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Apart from that', and 'To warp up' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the relationship between sentences could be smoother in some places. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the reasons from the evaluation of the trend. Overall, the structure is coherent, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect complex ideas more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at using less common items like 'elucidated', 'predicament', and 'culminate'. However, there are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'generational lifecycle', 'aged masses', and 'availability constrain'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the writing. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using vocabulary that is more natural and contextually appropriate, rather than relying on complex words that may not fit the specific context of the sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'Since past few years', 'It has been observed', 'leaning' (instead of learning), and 'person with a trainer'. Punctuation is generally functional, though there is a stray comma in the sentence 'can ,mitigate'. While the errors are frequent, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of your points. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and proofreading for minor slips that occur when attempting more complex sentence constructions.

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