Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Hiring the personal trainer proves itself to be a greater benefit of sufficient knowledge to train well which raises the inclination of people towards the belief that hiring a trainer is beneficial. while some consider it to be positive, others , however , Including I harbour the though that personal trainer impose negative development on people

To address why people prefer personal trainer instead of joining the classes , it is crucial to fathom two significant factors: qualified certificated knowledge and one on one interaction. Initially, upon hiring the professional fitness trainer people can embrace the opportunity to learn the exercise f which crucial for their body physique and muscle growth. Rendering the qualified knowledge the certified trainer tells you the exercise with perfect posture, number of sets and repitation which increases your growth. what is the significance of later aspect? Apparently, Alongwith providing one on one interaction during exercise time , personal trainer provides you the meal plan according to your calories and track your weight with close interest. whereas working out in exercise classes deprived you with the close attention about your workout from class holder due to large amount of people .

The cynics of the aforementioned notion, on the other hand, oppose the view , they are of the opinion that it is undeniable to the fact that hiring a personal trainer is very expensive , there hourly rate is 3 times more some people make which is not a budget friendly deal whereas the playing sports and some community based exercise classes are free of cost and help people to join and grab the enough knowledge they need about their regular workout. Secondly, being a part of sports and classes people explore different social activities and be a part of social group which help them with more mental and physical approach, while hiring a personal trainer people only bound themselves with one person routine and ideas.

To conclude, indeed, having a personal trainer lacks you to take the advantage of the exercise classes and became socialize, but the positive reason of the trainers are neglecting them would be considered folly .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. The position is clear from the introduction, although the expression 'Including I harbour the though' is awkward. The ideas regarding professional guidance versus social benefits are relevant and logically extended. However, the development is occasionally hindered by unclear phrasing, such as 'the positive reason of the trainers are neglecting them would be considered folly', which makes the final conclusion confusing. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are expressed with greater clarity and that the link between your reasons and your overall stance is more explicitly stated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Initially', 'Apparently', and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly misused, such as 'what is the significance of later aspect?'. Additionally, there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward sentence structures, such as the opening sentence of the second paragraph. Paragraphing is present, but the transition between the body paragraphs and the conclusion could be smoother to improve the overall progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'inclination', 'fathom', and 'cynics'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'certificated knowledge', 'deprived you with', and 'became socialize'. Some phrases are also unidiomatic, such as 'imposing negative development'. While the meaning is usually clear, the lack of precision and the presence of these errors prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on learning collocations and word forms will significantly improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('there hourly rate is'), incorrect article usage, and punctuation errors, particularly with the placement of commas. Some sentences are structurally confusing, such as 'Hiring the personal trainer proves itself to be a greater benefit of sufficient knowledge to train well'. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and require the reader to re-read certain parts to understand the intended meaning. Increasing the accuracy of basic sentence construction is a priority.

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