Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is no denying the fact that instead of opting outdoor games and physical exercise, majority of population in various nations, hired private trainers to maintain fitness. It can be propitious in some ways; however it's detrimental effects cannot be neglected. No doubt, there are plethora of factors to consider personal coach; however, I vehemently believes that individuals should prefer activities such as sports and other recreational activities to enhance the quality of health.

The prominent reason is the lack of availability and time. In the concurrent world, no one has enough time to attend the group classes at gym or any other physical fitness institute. This leads to hire an agent who can provide one on one training sessions as per customer's preferred schedule. Another aspect is insufficient confidence to attend the training in front of others due to pathetic body structure and having limited knowledge about various gym equipments. They feel demotivated and shameful to act in front of their fellow mates.

This practice has numerous passive outcomes, chief among that is, mitigating the value of outdoor games such as playing soccer, badminton, cricket, basketball and many others which has uncountable favorable results. It is well illustrated by the contemporary trend of hiring trainer for kids fitness and their future sports career instead of encouraging them towards playing with their friends and in community parks. Every single parents hesitate to send their children to community recreational clubs because they feel like sloping down their living standards.

Consequently, the value of earnings are not appropriately utilized. As per my perspective, participating in physical classes and preferring sports should be prioritize. It is not only beneficial to maintain the fitness and quality of living but also profitable in saving income.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and an evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. The ideas are relevant, such as time constraints and lack of confidence, and the position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the argument regarding the 'negative' impact on outdoor games is a bit generalized and could have been supported with more specific, nuanced examples beyond just listing sports. The conclusion is brief but effectively summarizes your stance. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting arguments are fully explored and linked more explicitly to the prompt's requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'The prominent reason is', 'Another aspect is', and 'Consequently', which help the reader follow your argument. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical or the transitions are a bit abrupt. For example, the jump from the reasons for hiring a trainer to the 'passive outcomes' could be smoother. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the phrase 'chief among that is', which should be 'chief among these are'. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, but the use of cohesive devices could be more varied and natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items like 'propitious', 'vehemently', and 'mitigating'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors that impact precision. For example, 'pathetic body structure' is not a standard collocation in this context, and 'sloping down their living standards' is unnatural. Additionally, there are minor errors in word form, such as 'majority of population' (should be 'the majority of the population') and 'every single parents' (should be 'every single parent'). While communication is not impeded, these errors prevent the vocabulary from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('I vehemently believes'), incorrect verb forms ('leads to hire' instead of 'leads to hiring'), and missing articles ('hired private trainers' instead of 'hiring private trainers'). Punctuation is generally functional, though some comma usage is inconsistent. The errors are noticeable and occur frequently, though they rarely impede the reader's understanding of your main points. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of gerunds after specific verbs.

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