Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this 21st century, maximum of people prefer to spend money and time on personal fitness trainers. However, they are becoming increasingly less interested in participating sports or regular physical activities. This essay will discuss causes for this and I believe that it is a positive development as personal trainers help people more convenient and proffesional way.

Accordingly, There is many reasons that why people not joining sports. In this contemporary era, everyone is struggling for bread and butter and they are quite busy. moreover, Genz generation wants to look fit and impressive and they don't care about people or other extra actvities they just want to achieve their dreams without doing hard efforts. lastly, social media plays crticial role in their lives, they want to post and show their fitness journeys in gym.

Furthermore, hiring personal trainer is bringing positive change in todays generation. For example, trainers always focus on overall health of client. They help them in providing proper meal schedule and exercises accordingly which they perform in gym. Also, If someone is not coming or not paying attention they regularly contact them. Additionally, People are busy nowadays and they are very flexible with schedule according to client preferences. Trainers help to achieve proper goals for instance, weight loss, muscle gain and strength which also boost the confidence in the gym. Most importantly, It reduces the risk of injury.

Overall, This passage discussed reasons and positive sides .However, I personally believe that personal trainers are worth in individuals life.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and an evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of why people avoid sports is a bit simplistic, relying on generalizations about the 'Genz generation' and 'bread and butter' struggles. While the positive aspects are supported with examples like meal planning and injury prevention, the arguments could be more deeply explored to reach a higher band. The response meets the minimum length requirement, but the depth of analysis remains at a mid-level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Accordingly,' 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Additionally.' However, some of these are used mechanically or with incorrect punctuation (e.g., 'Accordingly, There is...'). The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Paragraphing is present, but the transition between the reasons for the trend and the evaluation of its impact could be smoother to improve the overall logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'proffesional,' 'actvities,' and 'crticial.' The word choice is often repetitive or slightly unnatural, such as 'maximum of people' instead of 'the majority of people' or 'bread and butter' used in a context that feels slightly informal. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'fitness journeys' and 'meal schedule,' the overall range is limited, and the errors occasionally draw attention, though they do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there is a high frequency of grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('There is many reasons'), missing articles ('hiring personal trainer'), and punctuation errors (capitalization after commas). While the meaning is generally conveyed, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction limit the score. The student attempts complex structures, but they are often marred by errors, which prevents the writing from demonstrating the 'good control' required for a Band 7. More attention to proofreading and basic syntax is needed.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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