Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many parts of the world, choosing personal fitness trainer over playing sports or exercise classes has become an increasingly serious issue. This problem has significant consequences for the society. This essay will examine the main reasons of this issues and propose effective positive development to address it.

On of the primary reasons of hiring a private fitness trainer is being introvert at public places. This occurs because not all are comfortable doing workout in a shared gym as they might get judged by others for not doing exercise correctly. As a result it can demotivate their courage which has a serious impact on their mental health. Another contributing factor is as an introvert not being part of a group playing same sports further worsening the situation. Lastly, corporate individuals who works for long hours might not have time for this.

While there are some pros attached with subscribing to private instructors over being in public classes. Foremost, it is more beneficial as no one is there to judge and can get better results in shorter duration. Secondly, certified trainers are likely to add sports like swimming and running which does not require a group and helping in overall fitness. Thirdly, for the working individuals it is the best option to hire an instructor which can coach them at their convenience allowing them to stay fit without loosing their working hours.

In conclusion, hiring a personal fitness trainer over being an introvert at an uncomfortable space or uninterrupted working hours it is always a positive development by hiring a private trainer for maintaining a healthy life at the same time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The introduction incorrectly frames the trend as a 'serious issue' and a 'problem,' which misinterprets the prompt's neutral tone. While the reasons (introversion, convenience) are relevant, the explanation of why this is a positive or negative development is slightly repetitive and lacks depth. To reach a higher band, you should ensure your position is clearly established early on and that your arguments are supported with more specific examples or logical extensions rather than just listing points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On of the primary reasons,' 'Another contributing factor,' and 'In conclusion.' However, some of these are used mechanically or contain errors (e.g., 'On of' instead of 'One of'). The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the conclusion, where the sentence structure becomes convoluted and difficult to follow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the overall flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'being introvert at public places' (should be 'introversion in public spaces') and 'uninterrupted working hours.' Some collocations are unnatural, such as 'demotivate their courage.' While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary, the errors in word form and collocation occasionally hinder the clarity of your message. Expanding your range of synonyms and focusing on correct word combinations will help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the quality of the writing. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('corporate individuals who works'), article usage, and incorrect prepositional phrases. For example, 'proposing effective positive development to address it' is grammatically awkward. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic errors such as pluralization, verb tense consistency, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately without losing their intended meaning.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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