Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today fast paced economy, being healthy is not priority it's a necessity. In few countries, many people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise class. I believe this is a positive trend and we will delve more into this in the below paragraphs.

In this competitive world, one should be healthy in-order to survive and be ahead in competition. There are numerous reason why in my opinion it is a positive trend. Many people are working long hours or are working more than 1 jobs to survive in today's technological advance world. Further, while working hard people tend to focus less on their health and end up losing behind in the competition. In order to cope up and be healthy one need to focus on their health and need personal attention. For example, many people are not getting promotion instead of working hard because they don't realise the impact of making their mind fit and healthy along with being productive at work.

Additionally, today more and more people are facing mental illness like anxiety and depression and hence exercise is absolutely necessary to keep people healthy. Furthermore, people nowadays have become more comfortable and lack motivation to exercise and hence can easily skip class or doing sports.

To Conclude, I believe this is a positive trend as, this is a necessity rather than priority in-order to be healthy and fit and be ahead in this competitive world. Also, personal training give motivation rather than attending classes or doing sports activity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that people work long hours and lack motivation, these points are not fully explored or supported with specific, concrete examples. The argument that personal training is a 'necessity' to survive in a competitive economy is a strong premise, but it remains somewhat repetitive. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a clear, logical extension of your main point with more detailed reasoning or illustrative examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'further,' 'additionally,' and 'to conclude,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly forced. For instance, the link between working long hours and the need for a personal trainer could be more smoothly integrated. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the connection between 'this' and the previous points could be more explicit. Improving the flow between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'competitive world,' 'mental illness,' and 'productive.' However, there is a lack of variety and precision in your word choices. Some phrases are repetitive, such as 'healthy' and 'competition,' which appear multiple times. There are also minor collocation issues, such as 'technological advance world' (should be 'technologically advanced') and 'doing exercise class' (should be 'taking exercise classes'). Expanding your range of synonyms and focusing on natural collocations would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include article usage ('In today fast paced economy' should be 'In today's fast-paced economy'), subject-verb agreement ('personal training give' should be 'gives'), and prepositional errors ('cope up' is incorrect; 'cope with' is the standard form). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article placement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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