Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Recently, the personal fitness trainer is becoming more common instade of going to Gym and playing sports in some countries. In my perspective it is a positive improvement, and in the next paragraphs I will shed some lights on this view.
The first reason of hiring a fitness coach in my opinion for keeping the privacy especially if he or she is famous person that means avoiding photos and videos shared in social media, for example if this person has a health problem and he does not like to announce it to common people. So this way makes him feel completely comfortable.
The second point of this positive development training is to protect your health from dangerous diseases while you deal with many kind of persons in crowded place like Gyms which using the same tools and equiepments such as what happened in 2020 when the Covid 19 had spread everywhere that why the government prevent gathering people so we should take a lesson from that and avoid as possible as we can the crowded places.
in conclusion, having a personal coach is one of development way to keep yourself fitness and healthy and I wish to see that in more and more countries in next future.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt—reasons for the trend and the evaluation of it as positive or negative. However, the essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which severely limits the depth of the arguments. The ideas provided, such as privacy for famous individuals and health safety, are relevant but remain underdeveloped. Because the response is only 207 words, it fails to fully develop the points, leading to a superficial treatment of the topic. To improve, you must expand your supporting examples and provide more detailed explanations to meet the length requirement and demonstrate a more thorough exploration of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. For example, the transition 'The second point of this positive development training' is awkward and lacks natural flow. While there is a basic logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and conclusion, the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the writing feel disjointed. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in addition to this') to connect sentences and ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'instade of' (instead of), 'shed some lights' (shed some light), and 'development way' (way of development). Additionally, there are spelling errors like 'equiepments'. The vocabulary is repetitive, and the student struggles to use less common lexical items accurately. To improve, focus on learning collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form and context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect article usage ('the personal fitness trainer', 'a health problem'), subject-verb agreement errors, and awkward sentence construction, such as 'that why the government prevent gathering people'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and correct article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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