Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this current era, many people are focusing on their physical fitness. Some joins gym and go regularly and some who can afford hires the personal trainers for guidance about fitness and exercises.

As you know in this fast pace world where everyone is busy in their daily life and very rare people care for their physical fitness. As a layman, who went for work in morning and return late evening have not much time for their physical exercise. In result, at age of 45 years they start feeling old.

Current young generation is very much concern about there health and physical fitness. They properly planned their routine in a way that the can take some time from busy schedule for themselves. They went to gym and do hard exercises to take out all stress of a day while doing gym. Furthermore, some people hired trainers who guide them for exercises and a healthy diet.

In my opinion, if some countries people are tilting towards the physical fitness is a positive development. Because, now a days there are many different medical issue been discover and majority related to non-movement of your body which keeps going on with your age. In addition, there are also awareness sessions being held all over the world regarding physical fitness.

Therefore, if you hired personal trainer or watch online exercise videos that will help you to remain fit and keeps you aways from serious medical issues. One of our colleague who have gain so much weight at age of 25, later on he hired personal trained who guide him regarding the weight loss for about 5 years. His dedication towards fitness is that much high that after 3 years he reduced so much weight that our whole department get surprised. So, physical exercise is very much important for life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention busy schedules as a reason, the explanation remains superficial. The discussion on whether it is a positive development is present, but the arguments lack depth and specific supporting evidence. For instance, the example of the colleague is a bit anecdotal and could be better integrated to support the broader argument about health awareness. To improve, ensure each paragraph provides a clear topic sentence followed by detailed explanation and a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression between ideas is sometimes disjointed. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'In addition', others are used incorrectly or sound unnatural, such as 'In result' or 'As a layman'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the transition from the general argument to the personal anecdote feels abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'some joins gym' instead of 'some join a gym' and 'tilting towards the physical fitness'. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle with collocations, such as 'medical issue been discover' instead of 'medical issues have been discovered'. To achieve a higher score, focus on learning topic-specific collocations and using a wider range of vocabulary to express complex ideas more accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('some joins', 'everyone is busy'), incorrect verb tenses ('who went for work', 'who have gain'), and article usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading your work for common errors, especially verb forms and pluralization, to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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