Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this modern era, in some countries, high number of individuals are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing outdoor games or doing exercise classes as People believe that hiring a personal fitness trainer gives you proper guidance for nutrition and protein intake as per your body structure. In my opinion it is a positive development. All the reasons and examples will be discussed in further paragraphs.
Firstly, this development can be effect in good way for millions of people from various nation as they can be fit and reduced weight by following a proper diet and exercise which is given by a personal fitness trainer. For Example, Trainer can give more attention in one to one session and nowadays in some countries sports or doing exercise concept has been decreasing because they government does not encourage to play sports for fitness. so people will choose more better pathway to become a healthy person.
Secondly, people are reducing unemployment rate by providing a personal fitness trainer jobs in the market. Apart from this, people have a hectic schedule in their life so instead of wasting their time to play sports they hire a professional fitness trainer and it saves time and suggest exercise as per your body and capacity. It is a very good way to hire a personal trainer for your growth and development of the health.
To conclude, More people are going towards the hiring a personal fitness trainer in some countries rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes as it provides you few benefits.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of this trend. However, the development of ideas is limited. The reasons provided, such as 'unemployment rate' and 'government encouragement', are somewhat tangential and not fully explored in relation to the core topic of fitness. The argument for why this is a positive development is repetitive and lacks depth. To improve, you should focus on providing more specific, logical explanations for why personal training is becoming popular, such as the rise of sedentary lifestyles or the need for personalized health data, and support these with more relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' is used, but the internal flow within paragraphs is disjointed. There are issues with referencing; for example, the phrase 'this development can be effect in good way' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the logical progression of the argument. Paragraphing is present, but the ideas within the paragraphs do not always connect smoothly, leading to a somewhat fragmented reading experience.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'good way', 'very good way', and 'hiring a personal fitness trainer' repeatedly. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'can be effect in good way' (should be 'can have a positive effect') and 'sports or doing exercise concept has been decreasing'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more varied vocabulary and collocations related to health, fitness, and societal trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'high number of individuals are'), article usage (e.g., 'they government'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'it saves time and suggest exercise'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence structure and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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