Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Fitness awareness has risen up to a great extent in recent times due to the social media. In some nations, many individuals are paying for a personal fitness trainer instead of doing workout classes or playing other sports. This has led to a rise in people getting attracted to it but has more negative effects.

Firstly, nowadays gym owners are also trying to push people to get a personal trainer to earn more profits. This is unethical because they are not giving enough time and attention to others who do not opt for this service. For instance, life fitness has become one the gym chain with the highest customers because it offered variety of options for gym members to choose but recently they skipped the trainer inputs for lower priced exercise sessions. However, it has affected them as a lot of people are switching to other place which offers better services.

Secondly, earlier when personal fitness trainers where not that much popular, people still use to go the gym and other sports activities. However, abundance of them used to play different sorts of sports which has drastically reduced now. To illustrate, in India local gymkhana sports grounds and parks remained crowded such that there were a lot of complain to alleviate the number of it in the community. Whereas, in this past decade many of them remain empty even during the weekends as high number of individuals have switched to gym and fitness corporations.

To conclude, personal fitness trainer is not a great option to consider if people will stop doing other sports and outdoor activities. S

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and an evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The first body paragraph focuses on the business motives of gyms, which is a relevant reason, but the connection to the 'negative' aspect is slightly tangential. The second paragraph discusses the decline of traditional sports, which is a strong point, but the conclusion is incomplete and lacks a clear summary of the position. To reach a higher band, ensure that each reason is fully explained and that the evaluation of the trend is balanced and clearly articulated throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'To illustrate', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'abundance of them used to play different sorts of sports'. The conclusion is abruptly cut off, which negatively impacts the overall coherence of the piece. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring a complete, well-structured conclusion would significantly enhance the cohesion of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'fitness awareness', 'unethical', and 'corporations'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'risen up to a great extent' instead of 'risen significantly', and 'skipped the trainer inputs' which is unnatural. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise collocations and a wider variety of academic vocabulary to express complex ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'due to the social media' (incorrect article usage), 'life fitness has become one the gym chain' (missing preposition and pluralization error), and 'trainers where not that much popular' (incorrect verb tense and word order). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure needs more refinement to achieve a higher level of accuracy. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage would help elevate the grammatical score.

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