Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays people are more conscious about their fitness and health. Some nations are having higher rates for personal fitness mentor even tough they are not prioritizing the sports and joking classes. I would definitely believe that it is a beneficial and positive choice.

The primary reason I think that it is effective development because if we hire a personal trainer he will absolutely monitor our daily routine and life style. Moreover, he suggest some effective workouts to maintain the physical and mental ability of the person. For example, we are planning to do some workout at home we don't have much knowledge to attain that skills, and there are some advantages and disadvantages of every skill we learn. As a result people can get a positive outcome.

Another significant advantage, to go with trainer is sometimes we do more complicated exercises. In today's fast-paced world, people think that they can learn everything through a single video that's wrong. If we use these methods it will harm our body. For instance, there is lot of clips that available on website they provide this type information without any precaution or warning.

Although, alternative may seem have certain drawback. For example, playing outdoor games will make more complicated body injuries. Furthermore, joining a exercise class is more expensive in these days they charge more than a minimum payment and transportation towards the particular destination also we should consider. Therefore, having a personal trainer is a better progress than other supplements.

In conclusion, I strongly support that it could be a positive outcome to entire society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the opinion on whether this is a positive development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the benefit of professional monitoring and the danger of online videos, the explanation remains superficial. For instance, the argument regarding the drawbacks of outdoor sports is underdeveloped and lacks clear logical links to why a personal trainer is the superior alternative. To improve, ensure each paragraph provides a more detailed explanation and a concrete example that directly supports your main argument, rather than listing points briefly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the transition 'Although, alternative may seem have certain drawback', which is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. Additionally, the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother; some sentences feel disconnected from the previous ones. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words will help create a more natural and logical flow throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fast-paced', 'precaution', and 'physical and mental ability'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'joking classes' (likely meaning 'jogging' or 'exercise classes'), 'having higher rates for personal fitness mentor', and 'better progress'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary. Avoid repeating simple words and try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms to express your ideas with greater clarity and precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('he suggest'), article usage ('the' missing before 'exercise class'), and sentence fragments or awkward phrasing ('Although, alternative may seem have certain drawback'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally require the reader to re-read to understand the intended meaning. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly verb forms and the correct use of articles, before attempting more complex structures. Proofreading for common slips will also help increase your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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