Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It has been observed that In some nations An increasing number of people are choosing to hire a personal fitness trainer rather than playing sports or joining exercise classes.In my perception this is a positive developmenit because it contributes a lot to make people's body more healthy and fit. Especially to individuals who have bussy work scheduals and do not have enough time for sports or gym. My inclination is justified in the ensuing paragraphs with valid reusons and appropriate examples.
The foremost reason is that lack of time and energy due to hevy work load and other daily tasks. In this competitive word people require to make more efforts and dedicate more time to their occupation. It is very essential for them to stay update with trands and technological advancement which consumes most of their time, as result, they can not make enough time for the sports or gym. They are not able to maintain their healthy life style and healthy diet by them selves. Consequently they require fitness trainer who help them to maintain their healthy lifestyle; moreover,
fitness trainers examine a person's body requirement in regards of nutritions, proteins, muscles, bones, other defficiencies etc. They prepare perfect and flexible schedul of exercises, and diets, people just need to follow it. It helps to fulfill all defficiencies of body. For enstance, fmous celebrities who are too busy with their work, they hire fitness trainer to keep their body fit.
Another reason is that it is the most effective way to keep body healthy. Fitness trainers are pruffesionals. They have detailed knowledye of fitness and diet. They could study on it that is why they better understand the body's requirements. They provide best solutions and intructions. As result, people can get best results, which is not possible if person playing sports or doing exercise by them selves. exercise classes are also not that effective. For example, many athletes, brand models, and film atresses hire fitness coachs or gym trainers to maintain their physical fegure. Because it is truly effective solution for maintainig healthy life style. However, it is very expensive which everyone can not afford. mostly financially stayble people may adopt it.
To conclude, In number of countries individuals more and more adopting to hire personal trainer instead of playing sports or doing exercise classes. Though it is expensive, I firmly believe it is positive development because it helps a lot to people who are too bussy in their work. it also most convenienet and effective process to adopt.its banefits are far more than its limitations.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for the trend and providing a clear opinion on whether it is a positive development. The ideas are relevant, such as the lack of time for busy professionals and the personalized nature of training. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive, particularly regarding the 'busy schedule' argument. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments could be more nuanced to reach a higher band. The response is well-structured in terms of task coverage, but the depth of analysis is limited by the repetitive nature of the points provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the abrupt ending of the second paragraph with 'moreover,' and the repetitive use of 'another reason is that.' Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and better sentence-to-sentence transitions to avoid a choppy feel.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'developmenit', 'bussy', 'scheduals', 'reusons', 'hevy', 'trands', 'defficiencies', 'pruffesionals', 'fegure'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors are noticeable and detract from the overall quality. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors. To improve, you should focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic words and incorporating more sophisticated collocations related to health and lifestyle.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'people require to make more efforts'), article usage (e.g., 'a person's body requirement'), and sentence fragments or run-on sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas and periods. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to suggest a lack of control over complex structures, which limits the score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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