Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In present days, individuals are health conscious, and they prefer to hire fitness trainer for them; instead of doing sports activities or attending fitness sessions. I strongly believe, it is positive development. In subsequents paragraphs, I will discuss some compelling reasons for above circumstances.

First and perhaps the most significant reason is the fast paced lifestyle. People are too busy in their personal and professional lives. As a result, they do not have enough time to do sports activities and attend fitness classes. For instance, young individuals spending their most of the time at workplace, but they are still want to improve their physical health. Thus, they choose to hire fitness trainers, so they can control their diet and achieve desired result on their own pace.

Moreover, advancement in technology, less available play grounds and less risk involved to hire trainers. What it means, there are numerous online platforms which provide gym training and help to plan your diet. Besides this, more and more urbanization also reduces the play ground areas, and youngsters are spending more time on their phones and laptops, instead of doing some physical activities. To exemplify, nowadays if someone want to play any sports game, first they have to buy that sports clubs membership plan, additionally they have to spend money for equipment as well, Therefore individuals choose to spend money for private coaching, it is cost effective and health conscious choice.

To summarize, Many individual have been taking personal fitness training plans, instead of playing sports games and attending fitness classes. Which is easily manageable for them in this busy lifestyle and its effective and economic way of staying fit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of this trend. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention a 'fast-paced lifestyle' and 'urbanization,' the explanation of why these lead specifically to personal trainers over other fitness options is a bit thin. The position that it is a positive development is clear, but the supporting arguments could be more robustly explored. To reach a higher band, ensure that each reason is fully explained with a clear link to the prompt's core question rather than just listing general observations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. You use some cohesive devices like 'First,' 'Moreover,' and 'To summarize' to guide the reader. However, the flow within paragraphs is occasionally disjointed. For example, the transition between the mention of technology and the lack of playgrounds in the second body paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or lack clear logical connectors, such as 'What it means, there are numerous online platforms,' which makes the progression of ideas feel slightly mechanical rather than fluid.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'urbanization,' 'physical health,' and 'private coaching.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing or incorrect collocations, such as 'less risk involved to hire trainers' and 'spending their most of the time.' To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive structures. The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate, but it lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'individuals are health conscious,' 'they are still want to improve'), article usage (e.g., 'hire fitness trainer'), and punctuation errors, particularly with comma splices and run-on sentences. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with accurate subordinate clauses.

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