Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In few nations, increasing amount of individauls are paying money to a fitness coach, instead of playing the games and going to the gym or yoga classes. Fitness is now a days very essential things in every indivual's life due to the growing hours of work and the pollution. In this essay, I will further discuss the key causes and their effects on the person's life.

The first and foremost reason about hiring a personal fitness trainer is, less knowledge about health issues individuals have. Majority of the people going to the gym or other fitness classes, and doing the execises, such as heavy lifting, excessive streching etc., which can be harmful for their wellbeing. Practicing the those activities without knowing the tendency of how much pressure their bodies can bear, a chances of disability will be increased. For example, My neighbour Rinkesh, he has a back issue from his childhood, as he fell into the big trench while he was playing cricket. So, after so many years, when he joined the gym, he was not aware about how fatal it was to perform the heavy back exercise such as, situps for his back. As a result, his back is permenently damaged now, and he can not even sit on the couch by him self. So, for reducing the chances of risks involving in fitness exercise, people are more into pay for a fitness coach to guide the exercise according to their health issue.

Having a limited time available for the fitness training is the another reason of paying for a personal health training. Nowadays, everyone in the world are busy in their work. Due to their busy schedule they can not takeout the time for their fitness. So, to hire a personal trainer can give access to the so many fitness lover to perform the exercise on their own time. The fitness coach can easily come to your place on your suited time slot, when individual's want to do the exercises. Because of the freedom of choosing the time of doing the gymming or yoga exercise attracts more and more people to hire a finess trainer.

In my opnion, to pay the fitness coach is a positive development, as it gives so many opportunities to the fintness instructor to earn more money. A section of the society who are not enough skilled to perform the other work, as they are only trained themselves to gain more knowlege fitness and a person who have abundent knowledge about fitness, and looking of a part-time job opportunity to fullfil their daily needs, to be hired as a fitness coach can give them opportunities to earn more. For instance, a survey conducted in cambridge neighbourhood depicts that, from the last decades, fintness coach's job is an increasing, and people are more willing to jump in this field as it provides the money as well as health.

In conclusion, for the less awareness about selecting the exercises according to their health issue, and does not have a time to do the gym and yoga, individuals are more willing to pay the fitness tainers. As a result, more number of people are getting the jobs, who only have skills related to the fitness and whp are seeking for a part time job opportunity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of this trend. The ideas are relevant, such as the need for professional guidance to avoid injury and the convenience of flexible scheduling. However, the development of the 'positive/negative' aspect is somewhat narrow, focusing primarily on the economic benefit to trainers rather than the broader societal or health implications for the public. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments could be more balanced and analytical to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'The first and foremost reason', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'So, for reducing the chances of risks involving in fitness exercise'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences can be repetitive. Overall, the progression of ideas is coherent, but the management of cohesive devices lacks the flexibility required for a higher score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'wellbeing', 'disability', and 'schedule'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'doing the execises', 'tendency of how much pressure', and 'jump in this field'. Some spelling errors, such as 'individauls', 'opnion', and 'fintness', also occur. The range is sufficient to communicate, but the lack of precision and recurring errors limit the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical errors, such as 'In few nations, increasing amount of individauls are paying' (missing articles) and 'everyone in the world are busy' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the text from reaching a higher band.

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