Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In a few nation, increasing amount of individuals are paying money to a fitness coach, instead of playing the games and going to the gym or yoga classes. Fitness is now a days very essential things in every individual's life due to the growing hours of work and the pollution. In this essay, I will further discuss the key causes and their effects on the person's life.

The first and foremost reason about hiring a personal fitness trainer is, less knowledge about health issues individuals have. Majority of the people going to the gym or other fitness classes, and doing the exercises, such as heavy lifting, excessive stretching etc., which can be harmful for their wellbeing. Practicing the those activities without knowing the tendency of how much pressure their bodies can bear, a chances of disability will be increased. For example, My neighbour Rinkesh, he has a back issue from his childhood, as he fell into the big trench while he was playing cricket. So, after so many years, when he joined the gym, he was not aware about how fatal it was to perform the heavy back exercise such as, sit-ups for his back. As a result, his back is permanently damaged now, and he can not even sit on the couch by him self. So, for reducing the chances of risks involving in fitness exercise, people are more into pay for a fitness coach to guide the exercise according to their health issue.

Having a limited time available for the fitness training is the another reason of paying for a personal health training. Nowadays, everyone in the world are busy in their work. Due to their busy schedule they can not takeout the time for their fitness. So, to hire a personal trainer can give access to the so many fitness lover to perform the exercise on their own time. The fitness coach can easily come to your place on your suited time slot, when individual's want to do the exercises. Because of the freedom of choosing the time of doing the physical or yoga exercises attracts more and more people to hire a fitness trainer.

In my opinion, to pay the fitness coach is a positive development, as it gives so many opportunities to the fitness instructor to earn more money. A section of the society who are not enough skilled to perform the other work, as they are only trained themselves to gain more knowledge fitness and a person who have abundant knowledge about fitness, and looking of a part-time job opportunity to fulfill their daily needs, to be hired as a fitness coach can give them opportunities to earn more. For instance, a survey conducted in Cambridge neighbourhood depicts that, from the last decades, fitness coach's job is an increasing, and people are more willing to jump in this field as it provides the money as well as health.

In conclusion, for the less awareness about selecting the exercises according to their health issue, and does not have a time to do the gym and yoga, individuals are more willing to pay the fitness trainers. As a result, more number of people are getting the jobs, who only have skills related to the fitness and who are seeking for a part time job opportunity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for hiring personal trainers and providing a clear opinion on whether it is a positive development. The ideas are relevant, such as the need for professional guidance to avoid injury and the convenience of flexible scheduling. However, the development of these points is sometimes repetitive, and the argument regarding the 'positive' nature of the trend focuses heavily on job creation for trainers rather than the health benefits for the clients. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments could be more nuanced to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'The first and foremost reason', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'the another reason of paying'. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences can be choppy. While the overall progression is coherent, the management of cohesive devices lacks the flexibility required for a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to convey their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'wellbeing', 'fatal', and 'abundant knowledge'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'In a few nation' (In a few nations), 'taking out the time' (finding the time), and 'not enough skilled' (not sufficiently skilled). These errors are noticeable and occasionally impede the natural flow of the text, though they do not prevent the reader from understanding the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('everyone in the world are busy'), article usage ('the fitness coach's job is an increasing'), and sentence fragments or awkward phrasing ('My neighbour Rinkesh, he has a back issue'). While the meaning is usually clear, the high frequency of these errors means that the student does not demonstrate consistent control over complex structures, which is a requirement for higher bands.

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