Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In a few nations, an increasing amount of individuals are paying money to a fitness coach, instead of playing the games and going to the gym or yoga classes. Fitness is nowadays very essential thing in every individual's life due to the growing hours of work and the pollution. In this essay, I will further discuss the key causes and their effects on the person's life.

The first and foremost reason for hiring a personal fitness trainer is, a lack of knowledge about health issues individuals have. The Majority of the people go to the gym or other fitness classes, and do the exercises, such as heavy lifting, excessive stretching etc., which can be harmful for their wellbeing. Practicing these activities without knowing the tendency of how much pressure their bodies can bear, the chances of disability will be increased. For example, My neighbour Rinkesh, he has a back issue from his childhood, as he fell into the big trench while he was playing cricket. So, after so many years, when he joined the gym, he was not aware about how fatal it was to perform the heavy back exercise such as, sit-ups for his back. As a result, his back is permanently damaged now, and he can not even sit on the couch by himself. For reducing the chances of risks involving in fitness exercise, people are more into paying for a fitness coach to guide the exercise according to their health issue.

Having a limited time available for the fitness training is another reason for paying for a personal health training. Nowadays, everyone in the world is busy in their work. Due to their busy schedule they can not find the time for their fitness. So, to hire a personal trainer can give access to the so many fitness lover to perform the exercise on their own time. The fitness coach can easily come to your place on your suited time slot, when individuals want to do the exercises. Because of the freedom of choosing the time of doing the physical or yoga exercises attracts more and more people to hire a fitness trainer.

In my opinion, to pay the fitness coach is a positive development, as it gives so many opportunities to the fitness instructor to earn more money. A section of the society who are not enough skilled to perform the other work, as they are only trained themselves to gain more knowledge fitness and a person who have abundant knowledge about fitness, and looking of a part-time job opportunity to fulfill their daily needs, to be hired as a fitness coach can give them opportunities to earn more. For instance, a survey conducted in Cambridge neighbourhood depicts that, from the last decades, fitness coach's job is an increasing, and people are more willing to jump in this field as it provides the money as well as health.

In conclusion, for the less awareness about selecting the exercises according to their health issue, and does not have a time to do the gym and yoga, individuals are more willing to pay the fitness trainers. As a result, more number of people are getting the jobs, who only have skills related to the fitness and who are seeking for a part time job opportunity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and whether this is a positive or negative development. The ideas are relevant, such as the need for professional guidance to avoid injury and the convenience of flexible scheduling. However, the development of the 'positive/negative' aspect is somewhat weak. The argument focuses primarily on the economic benefit to trainers rather than the broader societal impact on health or fitness culture. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly explored to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'The first and foremost reason' and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'So, after so many years' or 'Because of the freedom... attracts more and more people'. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, and the flow between sentences occasionally feels repetitive. Overall, the progression of ideas is coherent, but the management of cohesion could be more sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'fatal', 'abundant', and 'depicts', though some collocations are imprecise, such as 'tendency of how much pressure' or 'not enough skilled'. Some word choices are repetitive, particularly the frequent use of 'fitness' and 'exercise'. While the range is sufficient to communicate, more precise and varied lexical items would be required for a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('a person who have abundant knowledge'), article misuse ('the games', 'the fitness coach'), and awkward phrasing ('for the less awareness about selecting the exercises'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. These errors are noticeable but do not significantly impede communication. To improve, focus on sentence construction and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy.

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