Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A large number of fitness coaches who train individually are being hired by health conscious individuals around the globe. In this essay, I will argue why this mindset has impacted fitness industry in a positive manner.

Today, everyone wants to be fit and lean but no one wants to learn the mechanism by which body either loses or gain weight. Gyms are crowded with people who doesn't have an idea what's their body type and which exercise routine they should follow. Here comes the need of professionals who are certified as well as has vast experience. A prime example of this is my friend who worked out for several years without proper coaching just to find out he gained some more fat rather then getting leaner. Therefore he decided to get trained under by a certified coach. With proper diet plan and precise workout routine he achieved his desired weight. This made it clear that onboarding a certified professional results in achievements which are not possible without them.

Moreover, in the last decade fitness industry has grown with rapid pace. This has also given a boom to the market of essentials supplements which include protein powder, multivitamins, creatine and iron supplements. Extreme sales and rapid growth of a brand name Nitrotech illustrates this point. The company decided to hire certified fitness and athletic coaches as their brand ambassador. Upon seeing fitness trainers with such esthetic and lean physique advertising products like these, people gets influenced and want to transform themselves overnight. This has lead to the mindset that having personal trainer for everyday is far better then doing outdoor activities without focus.

To summarize this. I would say that with such increase in number of people choosing fitness training as a career will create a healthy impact. In near future, people will be more conscious about their health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and your opinion on whether this is a positive or negative development. Your position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you provide a personal example to explain the need for professional guidance, the second body paragraph focuses heavily on the marketing of supplements rather than directly explaining why hiring a trainer is a positive development for the individual or society. To improve, ensure that every paragraph directly supports your stated position and provides deeper analysis rather than shifting focus to external factors like brand ambassadors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, and you use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Therefore', and 'To summarize'. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. For instance, the transition between the discussion of gym crowds and the personal example could be smoother. Additionally, there are some minor issues with referencing and punctuation, such as the sentence fragment 'To summarize this.' which should be integrated into the following sentence. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'mechanism', 'certified professional', and 'physique'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural collocation or word choice, such as 'impacted fitness industry' (missing an article) and 'given a boom to the market'. You also have some minor spelling or word-form errors, such as 'esthetic' (aesthetic) and 'lead' (led). To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is consistently accurate in a formal context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, subject-verb agreement issues are present: 'people who doesn't have' should be 'people who don't have', and 'people gets influenced' should be 'people get influenced'. There are also minor errors with prepositions and articles, such as 'trained under by a certified coach' and 'in the last decade fitness industry'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to limit your score. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.