Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is irrefutable that the way of people lifestyle has been changed significantly in recent years because of modernization. Currently, it is often seen that youngsters mostly hire a private fitness trainer than of playing sports or joining exercises classes and this behavior can cause negative effects on their psychological growth and imbalance financial budget which I would explain briefly.

This can be negative approach for the youngsters if they hire a personal trainer. To elaborate on this, if a person starts gym from fragile health because different people have different stamina capacity, and in most cases, trainers provide almost same knowledge and training which can lead to detrimental impact on their overall growth. Following this, People especially teenagers start taking protein powder which contains harmful substances in order to become more stronger and eventually it results in poor immune system that causes number of diseases in later life. Instead, it is the responsibility of schools and parents to motivate them to play natural games.

Another reason can be high fees as it can be seen that the monthly fees of trainers is quite higher than before. Undoubtedly, Inflation has been rising from ages and still most people are unable to manage daily needs and if they have to pay to the trainers, then it would be surely hard to manage other expenses. Therefore, if they are health conscious and want to grow naturally, then their approach must be towards playing sports or doing exercises. As a result, this way would become more physically fit and mentally alert.

To conclude, I would say that hiring trainers are just a waste of time and money. joining sports or exercise classes can be considered as a wise option if they want to stay healthy longer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The argument regarding 'fragile health' and 'protein powder' is a bit tangential and lacks a clear logical link to the trend of hiring trainers. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments could be more robust and focused. The response tends to over-generalize, particularly regarding the health risks associated with personal training, which weakens the overall persuasiveness of the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To elaborate on this', 'Following this', and 'In conclusion', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. The logical progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, although the connection between the paragraphs could be smoother. Referencing is mostly clear, but there are instances where the flow is interrupted by slightly awkward phrasing, such as the transition between the health risks and the financial argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'imbalance financial budget' (should be 'unbalanced') and 'rising from ages' (should be 'rising for years'). The student attempts to use some academic vocabulary, but the control is inconsistent. To improve, the student should focus on more natural collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing like 'hiring trainers' and 'playing sports'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as 'the way of people lifestyle has been changed' (should be 'people's lifestyles have changed') and 'hiring trainers are just a waste' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band.

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