Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, people are getting more concious about their physical health. Therefore, they prefer to have a fitness trainer instead of doing exercise such as yoga and sport games. In the forthcoming paragraphs, we will discues the causes and either good or bad it is advantageous or bad.

Firstly, individuals are hiring fitness teacher because of the influence of others. To explain it, socialists are highly impacted by the influencers life and they recommend to fitness tutors by elaborating the positive aspects of having good motivator. The trainer teaches them how much exercise would be healthy and it helps youngsters to get fit body more quickly. If the person start practising by their seleves in the beginning it could leads to injuries as well. For example, its been concluded that 90% people get injured by the equipement of gym without accurate guidance.

Another cardinal factor is that the trainers provide diet chart to his trainees which helps them to learn calary deficit as well as making them aware about the diet ingredients wheather they are healthy or not. Moreover, people do not have enough time in this high-paced world to explore about the diet plan and the exercises. Thus, they go with the convienuent source which saves their time also. They help obese individuals to lose weight in less time by rendering some strict diet plans. For instance, gym trainers tell their trainees to cut the sugar from their meals which is the major reason of weight-loss and tell them some tips to burn calories.

In conclusion, it seems to me that this notion leads to a positive development with numerous benefits. Additionally, having proper guidance in any kind of work make it way easier to achieve.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. The ideas are relevant, such as the influence of social media and the need for professional guidance to avoid injury. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the claim that '90% of people get injured' is an unsupported generalization that lacks nuance. The conclusion is brief and could have been better integrated with the main body arguments to provide a more comprehensive summary of the position. To reach a higher band, ensure that arguments are supported with more logical reasoning rather than hyperbolic statistics.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Another cardinal factor', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'socialists are highly impacted by the influencers life'. The term 'socialists' appears to be a misuse of vocabulary rather than a cohesive error, but it disrupts the flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the causes to the final evaluation.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and contains several errors. There are spelling mistakes ('concious', 'discues', 'seleves', 'equipement', 'calary', 'wheather', 'convienuent') and word choice errors, such as using 'socialists' when referring to society or social media users. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'diet chart', 'calorie deficit', and 'accurate guidance', the frequent spelling errors and incorrect word usage occasionally impede the reader's understanding. A wider range of vocabulary and more careful proofreading are required to move into the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('it could leads to', 'the person start practising'), articles ('the influencers life'), and prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas in complex sentences. Although the student attempts complex structures, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the writing from achieving a higher score. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

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