Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Hiring a personal fitness trainer is becoming the habit of individuals instead of joining exercise classes or playing physical sports. This essay will discuss the reasons to hire trainer such as time deficiency, personal attention, and the negative impact of this trend on society in the upcoming paragraphs.

The main reason to hire a personal fitness trainer is the lack of time. Most of the individuals do not have the proper time to exercise. As a result they require someone to train them on their time. For example, a business person require a teacher at night to help them in training. Moreover, everyone needs personal attention for their workout. Although common training is for all physiques, people believe that their physique is different from other require personal assistance.

The negative development of this trend on society is due to several reasons. Firstly, there is decline in the physical sports activities. The primarily reason is the lack of common time for all individuals to play some sports. Everybody trains themselves at different times with their personal support. For instance, an employee and employer both have different time due to workload or meetings. In addition to this, it will leads to the diminishing of social interactions. Community places were the only places to get together for some reasons such as playing sports or doing exercise either in garden or class.

In conclusion,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for hiring trainers and discussing the negative impact. However, the essay is incomplete, ending abruptly at 'In conclusion,', which prevents a full development of the argument. Furthermore, the word count is 230 words, failing to meet the 250-word minimum requirement. While the ideas regarding time constraints and social interaction are relevant, they are under-developed due to the lack of a conclusion and the overall brevity. To improve, you must ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed and provide a complete, structured conclusion to summarize your position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay uses basic paragraphing and some cohesive devices like 'Moreover', 'Firstly', and 'In addition to this'. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the text. The logical flow is somewhat mechanical, and the lack of a concluding paragraph disrupts the overall coherence of the argument. Referencing is generally clear, but the abrupt ending makes the structure feel unfinished. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices to link sentences more fluidly and ensure that every essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a well-developed conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks range and precision. You use basic terms like 'proper time', 'common training', and 'physical sports'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'diminishing of social interactions' instead of 'diminution' or 'decline', and 'everyone needs personal attention for their workout' is a bit simplistic. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific collocations and less common vocabulary. For instance, instead of 'lack of time', use 'time constraints' or 'hectic schedules'. Expanding your range of vocabulary will help you express your ideas with greater sophistication and clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'a business person require a teacher' (subject-verb agreement), 'it will leads to' (incorrect verb form), and 'the primarily reason' (incorrect word form). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the grammatical slips are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of modal verbs. Reviewing basic sentence construction and proofreading for small errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency will significantly improve your accuracy.

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