Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this modern world, it has become a trend to keep a personal fitness trainer and avoid doing physical activities in some nations.There are some contributing factors with this shift and I think it is a positive development if people create a balance between personal and professional lives.
The major reason of taking advice from gym trainers is the hectic schedule of people. They are busy with their work and responsibilities and get less time for tracking physical health.So, if they hire to someone to keep a regular check on their fitness, they will not suffer from any Health such as obesity , high blood pressure and cholesterol.
Another contributing factor is less knowledge of dietry fibers. Ordinary people are less aware about a balanced diet and they may miss some crucial food ingredients in their meals.Therefore, fitness trainer provides full information regarding nutrition food. As a result, they can enhance productivity at both places work and home.
It is right to say that this trend has positive impact not only on people’s physical health but also on mental well being . By receiving instructions about exercises and yoga poses , people focus properly on their work and family. They feel relaxed and refreshed after doing several physical activities.
In conclusion, although it is expensive to hire fitness trainers , while people hire them for health lifestyle and meditation. It is overall a positive development for work life balance.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of the trend. However, the essay falls short of the 250-word minimum requirement, which limits the depth of the arguments. While the reasons (hectic schedules and lack of nutritional knowledge) are relevant, they are somewhat under-developed. The position is clear, but the conclusion is slightly disjointed and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, you should expand on your examples and ensure that your conclusion provides a more comprehensive summary of your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Therefore', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion' to link sentences. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'if they hire to someone'. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring they are used more naturally would help elevate your score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors. For example, 'dietry fibers' is used incorrectly to refer to general nutrition, and 'nutrition food' is not a standard collocation. There are also minor spelling errors like 'dietry'. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the range is somewhat limited. To achieve a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your terminology is accurate and contextually appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'any Health such as obesity' (missing noun), 'fitness trainer provides' (missing article), and 'while people hire them for health lifestyle' (incorrect conjunction usage). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in articles, word forms, and sentence structure prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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