Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowdays, the interest of the people is changing rapidly, instaed of playing athletics activities and doing exercise,they prefer to hire new people for their personal fitness training.I am not saying this is a bad approach but it has more negative reasons then its postive approach. I will discuss its drawbacks in the given paragraphs.

Firstly, the most common demerit is socilization,if people hire personal trainer then they can only talk with him. Morover,new trainer just share their own experience way.For example, if people doing sports ,they need at least 12 people like in football, thats help them to learn some things from their partners since everyone has a different quality in different field, these skills teach us new things rather than just trust on one people experience.So that socilization not just help to stay health while playing games in group, it also teach us new different skills,that it is not possible to learn from one person.

Secondly, the is common disadvantage is cost, it is very expensive to hire persoanl trainer in this era. For example, if we join a gym we have to pay about 5000 fees of gym along with 3000 to the trainer. However, some of the people are comfortable to pay that fees but majority of them not okay. Hence, spending on a trainer the best way to play outside games, help you save your a lot of money.

In conclusion, Although spending money on trainer is not bad, but i give us limited merits like personal approach and less stress. but we see overall it has more demerits than its merits. On the another hand playing sports aids us to make social bond and learn new skills without any cost.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention socialization and cost as drawbacks, the explanation of why people choose trainers in the first place is underdeveloped, only briefly mentioned as a 'personal approach'. To improve, ensure you provide more balanced reasoning for the initial trend (e.g., convenience, tailored health goals) before moving into your critique. Your position is clear, but the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly explored to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'On the another hand' and 'So that socilization'. There are also issues with sentence-level cohesion, where ideas are sometimes linked abruptly. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') and ensure that your referencing (using pronouns like 'this' or 'these') clearly points back to the intended noun to improve the flow between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors ('Nowdays', 'instaed', 'persoanl') and awkward collocations like 'playing athletics activities'. You rely on basic vocabulary, and while your meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and the frequent spelling mistakes limit your score. To improve, work on learning topic-specific collocations related to health and fitness and proofread carefully to eliminate basic spelling errors that distract the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('these skills teach us', 'it also teach us'), missing articles, and run-on sentences or comma splices. For example, 'if people doing sports ,they need at least 12 people' lacks the correct verb form. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and checking for missing verbs or incorrect verb forms.

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