Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

IN TODAY'S WORLD, AN INCREASING NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE TURNING TO PROFESSIONAL FITNESS COACHES FOR GUIDANCE. THIS ESSAY WILL EXPLORE THE REASONS BEHIND THIS SHIFT AND ARGUE THAT, ON BALANCE, THIS IS A POSITIVE DEVELOPMENT.

TO BEGIN WITH, MANY INDIVIDUALS ARE WORKING FULL-TIME. DUE TO HECTIC JOB SCHEDULE PROFESSIONAL DID NOT GET LEISURE TIME TO FOCUS ON PERSONAL FITNESS WHICH LEADS TO WEIGHT GAIN, FATIGUE AND LONG-TERM HEALTH COMPLICATIONS. APART FROM THAT, NOWADAYS, THERE ARE MANY INSTUTION PROVIDE CERTIFIED FITNESS COURSES, ON THE BASIS OF THAT AN INDIVIDUAL WANTS TO TONE THEIR BODY STRUCTURE UNDER PERSONAL FITNESS TRAINER RATHER THAN LOCAL GYM SESSION. FOR EXAMPLE, IT REDUCE THE RISK ON AN INJURY IF PEOPLE ARE DOING WORKOUT WITH PROPER GUIDANCE OF FITNESS PROTOCOL.

IN ADDITION, MOSTLY, EXERCISE CLASSES WERE CONDUCT AT A PARTICULAR TIME OF THE DAY WHICH IS QUIET UNMANAGABLE.

MANY GREAT PERSONALITY SPEND A GOOD AMOUNT OF MONEY BEHIND THEIR PERSONAL FITNESS BECAUSE OF THEIE OCCUPATION. FO INSTANCE, HARDIK PANDYA WHO IS A GREAT INDIAN CRICKETER HAS HIS OWN PERSONAL FITNESS COACH AS HIS WORK IS TO REPRESNT INDIA AT INTERNATIONAL LEVEL. TALKING ABOUT ACTORS, SOMETIMES IT IS QUIET DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL LIFE IN THEIR FAST-PACED LIFE. SO THEY USUALLY HIRE THEIR PERSONAL COACH WHO PREPARE FOR UPCOMING ROLE IN WHICH AN INDIVIDUAL NEED TO GAIN WEIGHT OR LOSE TO PERFORM FOR PARTICULAR CHARACTER.

ON THE OTHER HAND, IT COSTS A FORTUNE TO HIRE PERSONAL TRAINER AS THEIR FEES ARE VERY EXPENSIVE THAN GYM SETUP. SOMETIMES IT IS BETTER TO JOIN SPORTS AND EXERCISE CLUB TO MAINTAIN BUDGET , ESPECIALLY FOR LOWER AND MIDDLE CLASS PEOPLE. BUT IN THIS GENERATION THERE ARE PLETHORA OF COURSES AVAILABLE ONLINE FOR STRENGTH AND CONDITIONING COACHES, WHICH CAN BE AFFORDABLE AND PEOPLE CAN ORGANISE ONLINE CLASSES TOO.

TO CONCLUDE, IT IS PREFERABLE TO TRAIN UNDER PROFESSIONAL FITNESS COACH TO REDUCE RISK OF INJURY AND TIME MANAGEMENT RATHER THAN PAYING CLUB FEES. AT LAST IT DIRECTS TO DESIGNATED PROFESSIONAL IF ANY SPORTS ACTIVITY CAN CAUSE ACUTE OR CHRONIC INJURIES.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for hiring personal trainers and the evaluation of whether this is a positive or negative development. The ideas are relevant, such as time constraints and the need for professional guidance to prevent injury. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. For instance, the paragraph regarding celebrities like Hardik Pandya is a bit anecdotal and could have been better linked to the broader trend of professionalization. The position is clear throughout, though the conclusion introduces a slightly new point about 'acute or chronic injuries' that was not fully integrated into the main body. Overall, the response meets the requirements of the task well.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'In addition', and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader through the argument. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical or the referencing is unclear, such as the transition between the discussion of celebrities and the general public. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the final paragraph feels a bit abrupt and lacks a strong summary statement that synthesizes the previous points effectively. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but could be smoother with more varied linking phrases.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts to use topic-specific terms like 'leisure time', 'long-term health complications', and 'strength and conditioning'. However, there are several spelling errors ('INSTUTION', 'THEIE', 'FO INSTANCE') and some awkward collocations ('spend a good amount of money behind their personal fitness'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, the errors and occasional lack of precision in word choice prevent it from reaching a higher band. The student demonstrates a decent range but needs to focus on accuracy and natural collocation to improve.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('professional did not get', 'classes were conduct') and article usage. Some sentences are slightly fragmented or lack necessary prepositions, which occasionally forces the reader to re-read to grasp the meaning. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, the student should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring that complex structures are formed correctly without missing auxiliary verbs or incorrect verb forms.

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